micro

micro posts unless they are macro

West coast time zone…

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…is like sitting on last bench in a school.

…is like sitting in the farthest corner in a restaurant, where the food seems to be served incredibly slow.

…is where you feel the world has moved ahead of you by leaps and bounds!

…is where you get calls from your friends already partying on a Friday night and you are stuck in your cube, and its not a good feeling!

…is like waiting for the last shuttle bus or subway train to arrive.

…is like waiting for end of a very boring movie. It just never seems to come along.

West coast time zone… is simply boring!

I’m Exhausted

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Somehow this last move has been the toughest for me. I am still yet to get over the whole restarting of life part. It actually feels like I’ve just landed in US all over again. I am sleeping on carpet with a comforter waiting for my stuff to come home; my internet connection is not online so I am stealing somebody else’s; I don’t have too many friends or acquaintances here, or at least the close types. It just feels like a restart all over again, and this time I am absolutely hating it.

All my life I’ve been moving places, thanks to dad’s transferable job, and my studies. 4 years in a single “home” is the longest I’ve come to living in a place for a while. And 6 years in DC is the longest I’ve lived in the same geographical area, of course not considering those 6 years involved 5 moves. I changed apartments 5 times in DC, but still it was nearly not as bad as moving completely to west coast.

As I turn 29 and look at my life ahead, I feel exhausted about the prospect of moving yet again. The last time I’d moved in DC, I had planned it would be my last move. Then, I would think of buying or owning a place within there, where I could spend another couple of years before I headed back to India. Now that plan is all over, thanks to this moving. Given the rental prices in this part of the country and the way it zooms around, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had to move all over again.

But if I had to, I want to move to DC. For various reasons.

For one, I am done moving. In a age where all my friends are buying houses and settling down, it feels rather silly to me that I am still struggling to find a place of my own. I want to own, stay and be in a single place for a while.

I am done restarting my life over and over again. I think I have reached this point where making new relationships and new friendships is becoming more and more difficult. The feeling of dejection of building relationships is getting down on me. I am done making new friends whom I will get close to, to be separated again. I am done going through that phase of “Shit what did I say to him/her?”. I am done rebuilding my social life. I want what I had to stay put for a while. I miss my friends.

I am done living like a vagabond. I want some stability in life, and more than anything else, I want some place to call my own. I am done exploring places, finding cheapest places to shop, finding cool hangouts to go to, finding places to be on weekends. I am done with all of it.

I think I want to go back.

29

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I turn 29 today.

Strangely enough I have nothing much to say today. No year long review, no what happened past year, no whats going to come this year. Nothing.

Surprisingly, it feels OK to be doing that too.

Oh well, Happy 29 to me!

Farewell

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This month has been a month of memories. While it has been extremely difficult to come to terms with moving (even though I knew about it since a while now), my friends compensated for that feeling in more ways than I could ever think off. The feeling of farewell and the disappointment was probably worse than anything else in my life. Even worse than what I felt leaving Ahmedabad after schooling days to go to engineering. Even worse than the feeling I had after the four years of engineering came to a close. On the other hand, this month has been incredibly memorable, for a variety of reasons, and it was because of all my friends here. Without a doubt.

It all began with the parties and merriment beginning last November and Thanksgiving. Multiple parties every weekend or almost, ensured we were always together, The new years ushered in more parties, some of them insanely wonderful. And add to it, the feeling that I was moving was finally seeping in to my friends too, it became all the more pertinent for us to spend time together, and party. The new years eve led to my bachelor party that my friends threw for me and another buddy, in what must be described as one of the wildest nights ever. It was atrocious fun, and the fact that everybody was there made it even more memorable.

Then towards the last week, it started to sink in, especially to me, that I had to take the flight to west coast. And my friends realized too. So we partied – and for the last one week, partied almost everyday. There was no dearth of anything: Food, rum, beer or water. I was invited almost daily to somebody’s place for dinner (which really meant, “all” of us wound up at designated place) and had a blast. It was followed by a wild “boys night out” this Friday, which must go down as one of the most informational nights ever. If you get the hint.

And then came Saturday. I had never imagined what my friends would turn up doing. I am a pretty good guesser of surprises, and usually can guess when one’s coming my way. But not this one. I was completely and utterly flummoxed into thinking it was going to be just another night. A basement had been decorated with farewell posters and my friends had secretly planned the whole event out. The look of absolute shock and surprise probably said it all when I discovered the magnitude of it. It was quite simply joyful.

But what came next was what made it a night like no other for me. We were quickly asked so sit on the sofa towards TV. A buddy told me he’d been working on a “surprise” for me the whole of last week, and here it was, finally. And with that, he played the movie. A movie with pictures, videos and more that we’d taken together over the last seven years in DC. It lasted almost twenty minutes, and the collage just kept getting better and better. The group trips, the innumerable parties at each other places, the strange faces, the weird videos that were taken of me, the first pics when I came to this country – they were all there. And while it played along, it was neatly interspersed with awesome songs in the background.

I couldn’t hold it much longer through the video. When my friends turned around looking at me and mimicked the line, “I hope you had the time of your life” in unison, it made me break up. As hard as I tried not to cry, the tears flowed. Yes, I had had the time of my life, and I was about to let go of it. At that moment, I simply didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t care less about the job or the money or the opportunity – I wanted to be with them forever. As my buddy crooned to last song “I’m leaving on a jet plane, dunno when I’ll be back again…”, I wanted to simply cancel my tickets and stay put.

After many tears, hugs and pats, we danced our hearts out. And then some of us went home, while some of us went to our regular hangout which is open way late in the night.

Sunday morning, I was again with my friends (In fact, I just stayed over with them over the weekend). Clearly, day felt shorter than ever to me. One moment we were out getting breakfast, the next we were having lunch, and then we were all at the airport to see me off. But something in between made it an another memorable day.

For I was presented a scrapbook prepared by my buddy’s wife with photos and memories of the last so many years I’ve spent with them. It was different from the video, but it had the same effect on me. Every page of the book had been carefully designed and decorated by hand. Every page had a story to tell me, a memory that I’ll cherish forever – the parties, the food, the gettogethers, the trips, the random game nights. Everything. The last page of the book was incredibly touching and well done. It was just one photo, of me and my would be, with the title “New beginnings” and “We’ll miss you” written underneath. It at once made me feel many things that I had been fearing all along, but it was true. It was a new beginning, but I didn’t want what I had to stop. Or to let go off it. And yet I am.

Over the years you build friendships and don’t realize how emotionally close you’ve become to them until suddenly you face a time like this. And then it hits you like a brick – they’ve become a part of you and you’ve become a part of them. Giving up on either of them is very hard. Its not that we won’t meet frequently or won’t be in touch. Its not that we won’t dial each other’s numbers whenever we feel like talking too. Its neither about knowing that these people are some of the best people I know in my life, and I’ve been truly blessed to have friends like these.

Its that feeling of not meeting them every Friday night henceforth that will hurt. Its that feeling not being able to spend every weekend with them that will be missed.

But more than anything, its about the feeling I leave with that that I was not looking forward to, not when I was having some of the best times of my life: I have to restart my life.

All. Over. Again.

Atonement – Movie Review

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Its been a while since a movie has compelled me to write a review on it. Atonement left me haunted; some scenes and some background scores still echo clearly in mind. Atonement is that good, and a testament even today good books can be adapted on screen. This is how a book should be adapted. Atonement clearly is my pick for movie of the year for me (Its a 2007 movie).

Atonement, a famous novel by Ian McEwan is a difficult book to adapt to screen. Its not the story per se that is difficult to adapt, but getting the core of the story to screen that is what makes it difficult. The real Atonement lies in the final act of the book where it hits you like a brick, almost unexpectedly. By changing the setting of the end a bit, the director was able to bring about the same shock to its viewers. At that point, you realize you must watch Atonement again to grasp what happened in the movie.

At its core, Atonement surrounds the lives of three people – Robbie, Cecelia and Briony. Briony misinterprets Robbie’s love for Cecelia as something very wrong, and frames Robbie in the rape of her visiting cousin. Although Cecelia believes Robbie could have done no wrong, she’s in the minority and helpless. Robbie, son of a caretaker and in class much lower than Cecelia is immediately sent to jail, where he’s given an option to either remain in jail or go to war. Robbie choses to go to war as a soldier.

5 years later, when Briony is older and more mature she begins to realize the misdoings of her actions and the consequences of her act. The rest of the movie is about what happens to the lives of all three of them – do they ever meet each other? Does Cecelia forgive Briony? Does Briony set things right for Cecelia and Robbie? Do Robbie and Cecelia get together to lead the happy life they wanted to live? Without giving anything away, I would say, just watch the movie. And yes, the ending is a shocker.

Performances wise, this movie belongs whole heartedly to James McAvoy as Robbie who does a brilliant job portraying the character of Robbie; he’s easily my pick for the best actor this year and would be a real shame if he didn’t walk away with the awards. Kiera Knightley gives a nuanced performance, and finally lends credibility to her acting prowess rather than her cute look. Though I am not quite sure if she was the right choice for the role. Briony as the 13 year old, the 18 year old and a much older woman were absolutely perfectly cast. Each of them at their age bring about perfection, especially the child actress. There is something eerily striking about the young Briony, which is exactly how she comes across in the book.

However, the movie and book would have both suffered had it not been the expert direction of Joe Wright and a brilliant screenplay. Given McEwan’s tendency to write non-linear structured stories, this was a difficult book to bring to life. Especially the third act which brings everything together, especially why the book is called Atonement and what does it really mean. I think Joe Wright succeeds in bringing out the core of the story. As with any Ian McEwan, his characters go into lengthy introspections, thankfully of which is quite less in the movie.

Cinematography and Music are a complete standout in the movie – absolutely brilliant. The music composed by Dario Marianelli is not just haunting but incredibly touching and fits the tone of the movie. The choice using the typewriter as part of music was awesome. Cinematography is consistently superb, be it showing the classic English Victorian side or the war ravaged Dunkirk.

Which brings me to the scene of the year for me. It all comes together in the Dunkirk scene, where the cinematography, direction, music, acting and pretty much everything else is just perfection. There’s this one long scene without any cuts that was shot with a steady motion camera that lasts for five minutes. Those five minutes are the film’s absolute best moments – an incredibly well shot scene. To imagine that such a lengthy scene was shot in ONE go, with thousands of extras all in the scene and to achieve the effect that Joe Wright does, is an art. This scene alone is worth the price of the ticket.

You can watch the scene at dunkirk here. Check out the acting, the background music, the scene and the way the scene has been shot.

All in all, Atonement is a class act. Simply not to be missed.

You know you’re getting older when…

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(inspired by this post)

When you start reminiscing about how Sachin Tendulkar demoralized the Australian bowling in Sharjah, and you were hooked to the TV to savor his strokework. “He was young then” you answer when someone asks why Sachin is no longer that batsman. Or for that matter, your only glowing memory of Venkatesh Prasad is the quarter-final between India and Pakistan in Bangalore, and Aamir Sohail.

When friends from really long time ago ping you on chat and say “Hey Buddy, Howz it going” and you reply “Nothing much”, and you both quickly run out words to keep up the conversation.

You buy tickets for parties and clubs where there are more upper 20s or lower 30s crowd. Suddenly the college hangout clubs seem like places where there’s too much noise, uncouth young kids, and perpetually drunk people. You look at such crowds with disapproval and think you too partied like hell, but were never like them. Hence you justify your choice of a more sober party.

The first thing you want to do when you go back to your hometown is to eat the dabeli from a stall outside your school. You feel happy that the price of dabeli has increased just 2 Rs even after all these years. And the taste, its unchanged. You look at your school from the dabeli-chat center and all the uniformed kids in there and wonder who are they. You so want to go to the school and say hello, even to the meanest teacher that ever taught you, but you are in a hurry to go somewhere else. You promise to self that you’ll be back again to go to school and eat dabelis too, but you never do.

You smirk at someone who says he wants to open up his or her business and gives you a rundown on how they’d do it. You realize you thought you too could take on the world too at some point. There’s a cynic in you now who looks at everything in doubt.

When you and your friends start discussing who’s going to have the first baby in your group. Some years ago, mentioning the word “relationship” would have been a crime in itself.

You go to your friend’s place and glance at his bookshelf. All it contains are books on subjects like “investments”, “strocks”, “real estate”, “tax planning” and the likes. You wonder wherever did those Tintins and Calvins go.

You hate driving long distances. If it can be reached by a plane or a bus, you will pay for the tickets and feel happy. Only a few years ago, you would have driven and saved the money so you could have blown it on something else.

You feel happy on discovering your old friends on facebook. All of you add each other in each other’s friends list. You even go as far as to say “His” and “Hellos”, and then each one of you disappears into your own world.

There are hardly any messages in the college e-group you were a member of once you had graduated. It would be filled with news of people joining and leaving companies. Some would announce their marriages, while others their alliances. Mobile phone number changes would be promptly notified in the group lest somebody else forget them. Some others would mail about the college and how things improved significantly once you left. And then it starts winding down. You have no idea after a while who’s where in which place. You have no idea who’s married or is getting married. And then you stop caring anymore. Occasionally somebody sends what seems like an update, but you are too busy to read it and forget about it.

When you look through your friend’s status in Orkut and they’ve gone from being “single” to “married”, some uploading even their babies pictures in their albums. They used to be your classmates in schools and colleges once.

Top Music of 2007

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The list is in ascending order of “topness”; the last song is the best song I have heard this year. I initially thought of putting up the songs for you guys to listen, but chucked out as I have no intention of serving any copyright infringement claims. Instead, I suggest you navigate to papuyaar.com or raaga.com and listen to them there. Or perhaps google it out on Youtube 🙂


Sajnaji Vaari Vaari – Honeymoon Private Travels Ltd.
The very first time I heard this song, I knew this had a potential to be a massive dance number. Though not quite in the league of Kajra Re or Beedi, Sajnaa Ji has enough meat in her to get even the most boring people to start tapping their foot. The bass beat is awesome in this track.


O Re Piya – Aaja Nachle
Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is probably the best male singer around these days. And this song tells you why. He handles the variations and pitch of the song so beautifully!

Main Agar Kahoon – Om Shaanti Om
The only good song in this otherwise megacrap of an album. This song was a delight; different, old-school style and very romantic. Just what the doctor ordered for the lovesick.

Dhaage Tod Lao – Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
Is it a surprise why Rahat Fateh Ali Khan features again in this list? The only “slow” song in this dancethon collection, this was a beautifully done number. Shankar Eshaan Loy have this knack of coming up with such fresh sounding tracks over and over again.

Bhool Bhulaiyya – Bhool Bhulaiyya
Not since Dam-maro-dam has Hare-Krishna-Hare-Ram been used so effectively in a song. Though the English interludes harm the song, the overall song is one zany kick ass number. I can’t get bored of. Not this year.

Tum Se Hi – Jab We Met
Jab We Met boasted of a very strong soundtrack; This was the best song of the lot. Especially the lyrics. Mohit Chauhan does a great job of singing it too.

Pari – Saawariya
Unlike many, I loved the soundtrack of Saawariya. There were many songs to chose from in this album, but Pari stands out as my favorite. The lyrical quality, the dramatic arrangements and the whistling tune. Its one helluva track.

Barso Re – Guru
A. R. Rahman may not have hit bulls eye with soundtrack of Guru, but he sure did with this song. I can’t see one bad note in this song; and every time I have pointed out that this is an awesome dance song, especially for women, I am given a look of surprise. Until, that is we saw a dancer perform this song brilliantly on stage, did everyone agree with me that this is an incredibly folksy dance tune.

Kitni Der Tak – Delhi Heights
Delhi Heights perhaps is the best soundtrack of the year for me coming out of Bollywood. Rabbi Shergill outdoes himself from his Rabbi days and proves he’s not a fluke. Sonu Nigam is in top form here. There is something about this song which makes me feel very happy and romantic. The guitars simply add to the magic.And yeah, the lyrics too!

Tere Bin – Delhi Heights
Is it a surprise then that another song of Delhi Heights is also my favorite song of the year? I understand quite less of this song, and have looked up the translation of this poetic song; believe me, I think Rabbi gave it his absolute best to the song. The feeling that song echoes is incredibly touching; I personally think this is one of the best love songs, ever.

Thats it – those were my top songs of the year. A few notable mention includes couple of songs of Aggar, The Train, Aawarapan, Abhijit Sawant’s Junoon and Dhoondein, Life in a Metro and 1971.

Boys 2 Men

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Today, I’ve become a man.

I got a speeding citation, complete with pictures, radar speed and a closeup shot of my license shot. Apparently I was hurrying up in a measly lane, just off the place I say and I was 12 miles above speed limit!

Ye!!! Now none of my friends can claim that I am a measly little bullock-cart driver or a small boy riding his home toy car.

fortune cookie, again

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I think for the first time I have read something very, very profound on a fortune cookie. This one deserves to be saved and put up in a showpiece. Simply beautiful and thought provoking.

It goes:

“Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation”

People

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Some people really make me look dumb. Especially when they give me that “You don’t know…” look.

~ The plumber who comes to fix the water leak under the wash basin goes on to length explaining how the water flows from under the building to my tenth floor apartment. And in between so many things must happen, each of which i have no clue about. Anyways, he must also explain to me which bolts and which nuts join which pipes and how one of them has gone loose and it needs to be replaced and blah blah blah. I hate it when they look so purposeful and determined to get your problem fixed. And the smile on their faces when they do fix it; almost like “There duffer, its fixed”.

~ The car mechanic who looks at you with disdain, opens the bonnet, puts his hands around several different places, nods his head in disapproval and goes on to ask you “Have you replaced oil lately?” Later when he checks about a speaker problem I complain about, he barely takes two seconds to tell me its the door that’s vibrating and not my speaker. Yes, he also gives that look of “Dude at least get your problem right!”.

~ The carpenter who has come to takes it upon himself to explain how windows are fixed in the wall, and how the new window had better insulation. Must also go in detail and explain what insulation means to me. In between he must crib about how other carpenters don’t pay attention to details and that’s why windows need to be replaced, all the while giving me “If you called me last time instead of that other carpenter, you wouldn’t face this problem now!” look.

~ The perfume store lady who walks with you with a bag of coffee beans and makes you smell each of the exotic varieties of perfume. Obviously she knows a lot about perfumes and you dont. Like the delicate touch of lilac or tulips or the nuances that each of them bring to the smell. She loves fluttering her eyes and touching your wrists frequently, and keeps reminding you that the most expensive brand is also the best brand. After much smelling around and getting completely nauseatic and you give up, she gives you that “Just take what I say, I know best. Why are you wasting my time!”