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micro posts unless they are macro

Corporate Emails

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Now I am not an English grammar expert nor am I trying to condone anybody here. But somehow, these are some traits I only see in desi written emails (corporate). I am not saying ONLY desis write such, but I’ve seen an awful lot many to write this post.

“Hi All”, “Hello All”

I don’t know why people find it necessary to say “Hi” to “All” if they have sent an email to several people. I don’t know – “Hi All” just doesn’t sound right to me. I would rather say “All”, or simply start the email without saying Hi-Hellos to anybody. Why not say “Hello everyone/everybody” ? (Dunno if thats right either, but it sounds better to me!)

“Thanks and regards”

Again, thanks OR regards in most cases suffices in a corporate email. I am not sure why thanks and regards are used together. Sometimes I have seen them being used as two lines:

Regards,
Thanks,
XXX

Again, why the need to have regards and thanks on two different lines still baffles me.

“Please help in this regard”

This is a classic desi tendency to end emails after writing a long email about issues affecting them. The problem seems that one is asking “help” only in this issue and nothing else. Often times I believe this is because one thinks in their native language and translates it into English.

Think of any more such things? Let me know!!

Obama

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Something about Barack Obama bothers me. I don’t quite like his “Look at me, I am your only hope” attitude that he tries to bestow in speech rallies. At times he sounds like a politician giving a rather boring sermon on life, equality, humility and all that shit. At other times he casts himself as the savior of the world and the planet. At other times he speaks of idealism and how everything in his world can be achieved through hope and love and what nots.

The thing is, I find Barack Obama too nice to be a politician. Unlike, say Manmohan Singh who pretty much was a backface of his party until he was thrust to the job, Barack Obama is actually fighting for the spot. I am not comparing either individuals, but Obama’s goodiness seems to be projecting a falsehood, at least to me.

It would be nice if he just behaved like just another politician, and acted like one. At least, he would be believable!

Oh well, that’s my political rant for this election.

Sunday Rant

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Now that I dont have anything thoughtful to say these days (Oh boy, looks I am married ain’t I?), I am sufficing this blog with random rants on random days. Anyways, here’s my Sunday Rant.

~ I still haven’t gotten over the first comment on Baradwaj Rangan’s review of Tashan. Somebody called Kareena’s super slim figure as “Pumpkin placed on a drumstick”. I don’t think anybody could it put it better than this!

~ I have to say the makers of LG195 dynamite phone don’t seem to exist in times of iPhone and other cool devices. So their AD goes that a young man didnt have access to hot women, now is suddenly able to, thanks to this lg 195 dynamite phone. Only thing, this phone looks like a design carried over from last century. I wonder why LG would spend so many advertizing rupees on what is essentially a yet another dumb feature packed phone whose 90% features nobody use.

~ Yet another super hero movie has arrived in form of “Ironman”. I’ve never heard of him. Have you? When will we see Platinumman or Goldman?

~ I saw the video of “Rehem kare” a few days back which features Zayed Khan and Eshal Deol. Awesome pairing. As if both are not torturous enough by themselves, somebody actually paired them together in a movie! No wonder Cash failed miserably.

~ After many years I saw “Gangster”, which turned out to be a good movie. Shiny Ahuja rocks, though I am beginning to believe he’s stereotype now, and he does one thing well in all his movies:Look intensely in somebody’s eye and shut up.

~ Have you noticed Bush gets little or no news anymore anywhere? It seems he’s been forgotten already as a president! I hope he still comes to office everyday.

~ LOST has returned. And oh boy, dead counts are increasing!! I love the way LOST producers have treated the “other” survivors of the plane with absolute apathy, only including them to kill them randomly. You see, more than 40 people might have survived the crash, but really LOST is about 8 people. I ain’t complaining cause television doesn’t get better than this!

~ IPL has become boring for me. I am loving it that Mumbai and Bangalore, the most expensive franchisees are getting their asses whooped by every other team. Awesome going.

That’s it for now. If I have something more interesting further ahead, then expect another post!

U Me aur Hum – Review

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For lack of anything fancy to do on a Friday night, we decided to hit the movies and see the latest Hindi movie – U Me aur Hum. The promos hadn’t caught my fancy much, but a couple of songs surely had. Plus a few reviews on the net seemed to be positive enough, so were like what the heck, lets watch it. Ultimately we were not disappointed. U Me aur Hum is a reasonably good movie, and as a directorial debut, Ajay Devgan does a fabulous job at adapting “The Notebook” to Indian audiences.

I am not going to re-iterate the story here as you will find it everywhere on the web, and there’s no point writing about it again. Yes, the movie deals with Alzheimer’s disease, and surprisingly treats it with quite some maturity. Of course the movie could have done without several over the top dramatization but the movie does hold on its own most of the times, and that is what makes it work.

The first half an otherwise forgettable and improbable fare is made enjoyable by some neatly done scenes. The friends of Ajay add a good line to the story, and in fact it was reassuring to see them as a part of the story and not a sidey characters with nothing else to do but fool around. The brisk scenes of courtship are deftly handled where we are treated to multitude of scenes floating by. However it almost looks like as if Ajay Devgan goes through the motions to setup the second half when Kajol is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Which is where the movie holds on it on, partly due to the way the story is handled, partly due to excellent performances by both Kajol and Ajay, and fully by Ajay’s direction. I would say, its actually the direction that makes the movie tick (and I will forgive some overtly done scenes). One of the last scenes where Ajay leaves Kajol in a care facility is extremely well done with little Kajol having no dialogues in the entire scene.

It could be argued that this is a remake of “The Notebook” but I think it has been suitably Indianized. It surely is a one time watch for sure. I had previously liked Ajay and Kajol’s chemistry in Pyaar tho Hona Hi Thaa, and they display the same chemistry again on screen here. Though Kajol and SRK do form the most ideal on screen couple, there is something different about this couple and perhaps they are a couple in real life helps translate their chemistry on screen. For once I liked Kajol and give her thumbs up in her role, and as well as her look. She looked incredibly cute!

All in all, a well done second half makes this movie really watchable. A one time watch for sure! Recommended!

Friday Rant

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For lack of a better title, well lets just call it Friday rant, and as I usually do when I have nothing to post on this blog, this will be just a collection of random notes that have stuck in my brain.

~ Why must every promo of “The Bachelor” end with “Dont miss the SHOCKING elimination!” byline? (Now that you asked, courtesy of the other half I am dragged to watch this. I don’t mind, though I watch it for entirely different reasons than my wife 🙂 ). The producers of this show seem to believe that every elimination is a “SHOCKER” and it must register with their viewers, so the additional emphasis in their promos. However there was laugh-out-loud moment this week. So the bachelor is saying to this girl about how they are not really connecting, to which the girl’s response was removing the buttons on her shirt, showing her assets and flaunting “I have big b****”. WTF? Thankfully the bachelor’s response was the same (as in WTF :P).

~ On a related note, why are all these “Bachelors” so rich, cultured, weepy, romantic, sugary, almost feminine, cute puppy dogs? Its irritating!

~ Last week my wife dreamt that I eloped with Rakhi Sawant! I have nothing more to say here…

~ Star Plus has gone to the dogs. I can’t seem to figure out whose husband is whose in which serial. It feels like I could pick up any random serial at any point and its very likely that the people in question in those serials are facing the same problems as their next door serials. Last I heard the Baa has officially taken over Bhishma’s “I-will-never-die” promise. The Nimmos, Annus and what nots have plagued this channel. (No, really, who names their kids Nimmo?)

~ On the same note, I caught a glimpse of Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki. I thought I was watching a recap of the first generation family, and probably this was a repeat from 5 years ago. Heck NO! My wife says, this is the 4th or 5th generation (even she has lost count…). Must say, species in Balagi tele-land show a remarkable quality of anti-aging.

~ Wifey wants to create a new soap opera for our television viewers. She wants to call it “Iskaa Pati Uskaa”. I think its really appropriate for today’s times.

~ MTV Roadies. Now who the heck made this cheap crass ass cross breed of Fear Factor and Amazing Race. The thing is, its neither a race, nor amazing, nor has anything fearful. Its more like Big Brother on the run. Hell, its even worse. And Nikhil Chinnappa – Dude, you really got to shut your mouth and retire. I can’t stand this moron.

~ Mimoh Chakraborthy (Nimmo, Mimmo whats going on) makes his debut with Jimmy. Needless to say I am excited about Junior Guruji hitting the screen. He seems to have taken all the qualities that his esteemed father possesses.

~ Saw the trailer of Love Story 2050. Seems like India’s first futuristic movie. Only thing, the promos more or less tell me its The Fifth Element meets I robot meets Spiderman 3 meets Krrrish (hell no!) meets any-other-sci-fi-movie in recent past. I wonder how this pudding is going to fare.

~ In other news I heard a shocker allright. Aditya Chopra is back with “Rab ne bana di jodi”. OH GAWWDDDD! I thought Aditya Chopra was in a mental asylum trying to recuperate from Mohobbatein. There’s no justice for us. Aditya – no, SRK is really 40+ years now, so you know, he actually looks dumb in college kid roles now. Just thought you’d like to know that Aditya.

Oh well, that’s about it for now. More updates coming soon. Very very soon!

Endless Waters

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Its been a while since I have blogged; and the feeling is a bit different now. When you have your other half looking by your shoulders as you type the post, something strike you. You could possibly be doing better things than writing, but at the same time the need to do something you love (eg writing) overcomes you. Hence here am I after a week of coming back to states, back to blogging. Expect fewer posts than before (not that I was too regular anyways hehe!), but I definitely will be speaking a lot.

I truly wanted (or still want to!) to write a wedding diaries like Patrix did, but I think with each passing week I am beginning to forget details. Nonetheless, I will come to those diaries sooner than later. What I did want to write about was a special place we honeymooned – Maldives. And the place we spent nearly eight amazing days: Anantara. Which really means Endless Waters.

I had settled on Maldives a good three months before our wedding, and more or less decided on Anantara as it was fitting in my budget as well as provided all the activities I wanted to do. Opinions on the resort were more or less positive, and it being a five star I was expecting a certain level of service. I had carefully avoided any resort that were owned by American or European companies as I find them boring. Anantara, owned by Thai company gave me a exotic feeling that I was looking for and hence it was my choice for the place.

Maldives, a small nation of nearly 1000 islands is just by India. When I say just by India, it really is, just an hour and half hour plane ride from Bangalore. But the sheer beauty of this place is quite unparalleled. I had read in quite a few places that photos don’t do enough justice to this country, and as I look back at the photographs, I and my other half both agree. Photos barely convey the true beauty of this place. Barely.

However none of this verbose text is going to make an impact unless I include some photos from the place. Here are they interspersed with our comments on place.

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Maldives is made up of a lot of small islands like one above. This was taken when we left Maldives as we were too busy going “wow” while landing 🙂

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We had initially booked the “Sunset over water suite” at Anantara. However by mistake Anantara put us on the “Sunrise” side of the island. Basically sunrise meant you could get a sunrise view and sunset meant well, sunset view. Obviously none of us was going to get up that early for viewing sunrises, and sunset over sea is always more exciting IMHO, so we had booked that. Nonetheless, the above pic was taken right outside our suite.

Note the water color – its green and clear. Maldives is one of the flattest places on earth, and the earth barely rises above sea level. Hence in most islands you can actually walk in sea for quite a distance.

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In fact you could just walk to this island in water. We kayaked our way there though. In between the walks, don’t be surprised to find a sting ray or two quietly slipping by. This island is the same one that can be seen at a distance in the photograph above.

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This was the entrance to Water villas. The sunrise side was on the right, while sunset on the left. We were moved to the sunset suite on the second day. To make up for their mistake, Anantara offered us a dolphin cruise and a half day island discovery (including snorkeling) trip for free. I couldn’t complain much 🙂

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This was the view from our bed from the sunset over water villa. This photo was taken from the bed. Can’t say I had any complains about being in such a suite. It was simply amazing. The sunset side of the islands opened to ocean. While you could see some islands on the sunrise side of the island, the sunset side provided nothing but water view.

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The sunrise side of the island had a sandbank with hammock. This sandbank submerged completely during high tides and was totally out of water during low tides. It was a beautiful sand bank, and needless to say a great picture spot.

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On our way to snorkeling trip we stopped by a Maldivian fisherman village. Fish is a huge export of Maldives and as expected we did see fishermen fishing. Note the water colors.

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We also visited Male, which is supposed to the smallest capital city in the world. Its barely a 2×2 kilometer island and houses all the important administrative offices. As expected, tourism is nearly 80% of Maldivian economy. Fish is another.

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Incidentally, my wife’s birthday also came through our stay there. I had planned a surprise for her, which the Anantara management nearly ruined but sending a cake to our room three days early! To make up for their mistake they upgraded our next 3 days to their sister island Naladhu, which is a six star resort.

Needless to say, I had absolutely zilch complaints against the room we were put in. It was a sprawling beach villa which opened to the ocean and had a hot-tub, swimming pool, relaxing beds, steam room and a huge bedroom – all in one cottage, just for us, exclusive and very very private. There was simply no say no to this room.

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View of Jhoola at night. This Jhoola was ocean facing. Needless to say the joy of sitting and relaxing on it while watching the waves come by was beautiful. At night even if you had your door closed you could still hears the waves splashing, especially during high tides.

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At numerous places on the island there were these beach chair-bed which were placed to sit and relax. Photos don’t quite convey the experience of sitting by the beach, watching the sun go down with a glass of watermelon juice in your hands. Anantara staff were attentive and absolutely ready to do anything. They were friendly, smiling and ready to please you anytime you asked them. We were absolutely delighted by their service.

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This photo marked the end our honeymoon as we left the resort. We had one final scare while taking the boat ride back to Male. At some point in the sea, there seemed to be a really big high tide going on. The waves were high, choppy and very scary. The boatman stopped the boat thrice to let the way carry the boat before starting his engines again. For a moment or two the thought of Tsunami crossed my mind, but luckily this was a short lived scare and we made it to Male safely.

At the start of the trip I was in two minds about Maldives and Anantara. At the end of it all, we were both sure that we had the most amazing time of our lives. Something that we both will cherish forever – it was an experience like no other and I am sure it will be hard to match. We can’t tell you how many people came to us looking at the pics asking us details about this place so as to plan their vacation. I think a part of this experience also goes to staff and management at Anantara too.

Not only was the resort beautiful, but their service and pampering was way beyond anything we’d experienced. Though we really haven’t been to any other resorts there (and they have some which are even bigger and better it seems!), we were very happy at our selection and island. If there is one place we’d recommend hands down to anybody to go, it would be to these endless waters. Anantara.

We so can’t wait to get there again.

PS: Please respect the copyright on these photos and ask me before you use them. Thank you 🙂

I’m getting married

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Two days ago, a troika of one woman and two men came to deliver my goods from DC. It was surprising to see a woman in that role, but the way she hollered the bags around, she could pick me and throw me a fair distance without feeling the weight.

Anyways, after all the bags and boxes were unloaded, all of us were involved in some useless banter, when I told them I was getting married. This was their reaction.

“I’m getting married”

Woman: “How Wonderrrrrrrrrrrrfuullll! Congratulations!”

Man 1: “Oh”

Man 2: “Jesus”

California

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My impressions after 9 days in California:

When people say this place is very diverse, they mean there’s no dearth of Indians and Chinese population here.

When they say San Francisco rocks, they mean only San Francisco. Not San Jose, not Fremont, not Santa Clara or even Redwood City. No, they won’t tell you San Francisco is a 50 minute drive from San Jose.

When they say the beach is nearby, they don’t really mean you can swim there. It is 50 degrees in winter and 55 degrees in summer. Yeah, you’d have to be covered from head toe to get into water.

When they say California has awesome weather all year around, they really mean from March to October. It does get cold in January, it is gloomy in February and March, and thankfully remains gorgeous for the rest of the year.

When they say California is laidback, it really is. Or at least when compared to DC lifestyle or New York. Time passes slowly here.

When they say Californians see a lot of UFOs, its true. The state records highest number of UFO sightings in the country. Incidentally, it also holds the highest number of psychopath socialites and celebrities in the country. Perhaps there’s a link.

When they say it’s the Silicon Valley, its true. You’ll be hard pressed to find people not talking about code.

You get discounts for using less water, gas and electricity. In fact, if you don’t use them at all, the gas and electric board promise not to send you a bill at all! You’ll still be charged for water though.

When Californians look at you and say, “Oh this is the best place in the world”, they really haven’t been outside the state. If they have, its more likely Kansas or Detroit, in which case, their theory holds true.

All major hikes, trails, attractions are within driving distance.

You cannot visit Walmart without running into a Quickstar salesperson. In a few years, I guess California immigration policies will include mandatory Quickstar membership. Perhaps its necessary to avoid speaking to annoying unwanted pesky pokey people.