This month has been a month of memories. While it has been extremely difficult to come to terms with moving (even though I knew about it since a while now), my friends compensated for that feeling in more ways than I could ever think off. The feeling of farewell and the disappointment was probably worse than anything else in my life. Even worse than what I felt leaving Ahmedabad after schooling days to go to engineering. Even worse than the feeling I had after the four years of engineering came to a close. On the other hand, this month has been incredibly memorable, for a variety of reasons, and it was because of all my friends here. Without a doubt.
It all began with the parties and merriment beginning last November and Thanksgiving. Multiple parties every weekend or almost, ensured we were always together, The new years ushered in more parties, some of them insanely wonderful. And add to it, the feeling that I was moving was finally seeping in to my friends too, it became all the more pertinent for us to spend time together, and party. The new years eve led to my bachelor party that my friends threw for me and another buddy, in what must be described as one of the wildest nights ever. It was atrocious fun, and the fact that everybody was there made it even more memorable.
Then towards the last week, it started to sink in, especially to me, that I had to take the flight to west coast. And my friends realized too. So we partied – and for the last one week, partied almost everyday. There was no dearth of anything: Food, rum, beer or water. I was invited almost daily to somebody’s place for dinner (which really meant, “all” of us wound up at designated place) and had a blast. It was followed by a wild “boys night out” this Friday, which must go down as one of the most informational nights ever. If you get the hint.
And then came Saturday. I had never imagined what my friends would turn up doing. I am a pretty good guesser of surprises, and usually can guess when one’s coming my way. But not this one. I was completely and utterly flummoxed into thinking it was going to be just another night. A basement had been decorated with farewell posters and my friends had secretly planned the whole event out. The look of absolute shock and surprise probably said it all when I discovered the magnitude of it. It was quite simply joyful.
But what came next was what made it a night like no other for me. We were quickly asked so sit on the sofa towards TV. A buddy told me he’d been working on a “surprise” for me the whole of last week, and here it was, finally. And with that, he played the movie. A movie with pictures, videos and more that we’d taken together over the last seven years in DC. It lasted almost twenty minutes, and the collage just kept getting better and better. The group trips, the innumerable parties at each other places, the strange faces, the weird videos that were taken of me, the first pics when I came to this country – they were all there. And while it played along, it was neatly interspersed with awesome songs in the background.
I couldn’t hold it much longer through the video. When my friends turned around looking at me and mimicked the line, “I hope you had the time of your life” in unison, it made me break up. As hard as I tried not to cry, the tears flowed. Yes, I had had the time of my life, and I was about to let go of it. At that moment, I simply didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t care less about the job or the money or the opportunity – I wanted to be with them forever. As my buddy crooned to last song “I’m leaving on a jet plane, dunno when I’ll be back again…”, I wanted to simply cancel my tickets and stay put.
After many tears, hugs and pats, we danced our hearts out. And then some of us went home, while some of us went to our regular hangout which is open way late in the night.
Sunday morning, I was again with my friends (In fact, I just stayed over with them over the weekend). Clearly, day felt shorter than ever to me. One moment we were out getting breakfast, the next we were having lunch, and then we were all at the airport to see me off. But something in between made it an another memorable day.
For I was presented a scrapbook prepared by my buddy’s wife with photos and memories of the last so many years I’ve spent with them. It was different from the video, but it had the same effect on me. Every page of the book had been carefully designed and decorated by hand. Every page had a story to tell me, a memory that I’ll cherish forever – the parties, the food, the gettogethers, the trips, the random game nights. Everything. The last page of the book was incredibly touching and well done. It was just one photo, of me and my would be, with the title “New beginnings” and “We’ll miss you” written underneath. It at once made me feel many things that I had been fearing all along, but it was true. It was a new beginning, but I didn’t want what I had to stop. Or to let go off it. And yet I am.
Over the years you build friendships and don’t realize how emotionally close you’ve become to them until suddenly you face a time like this. And then it hits you like a brick – they’ve become a part of you and you’ve become a part of them. Giving up on either of them is very hard. Its not that we won’t meet frequently or won’t be in touch. Its not that we won’t dial each other’s numbers whenever we feel like talking too. Its neither about knowing that these people are some of the best people I know in my life, and I’ve been truly blessed to have friends like these.
Its that feeling of not meeting them every Friday night henceforth that will hurt. Its that feeling not being able to spend every weekend with them that will be missed.
But more than anything, its about the feeling I leave with that that I was not looking forward to, not when I was having some of the best times of my life: I have to restart my life.
All. Over. Again.