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Worst Item Numbers of Manisha Koirala

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Don’t ask me why I have re-re-posted this one again on my blog. Every time I read this, I crack up and can’t stop laughing. And this hilarious piece simply makes my day!

Full Disclosure: Starting this post, I have decided to highlight some of the best posts written on dogmatrix.com, a now closed project. These posts were not written by me, and I take no credit for them either. I will highlight them every now and then on this blog. This post was written by Premjit, who I believe has been the most humorous writer (if not the most) I’ve read. He has been missing in action for a long long time now. For all those who know him from his past writings will surely realize what this guy is capable of when it comes to quirky humor. This one’s for you Prem.


Worst Item Numbers of Manisha Koirala

Alternative titles to the review:-

All You Wanted to Know About Bad Dancing but didn’t Know Whom to Ask

The Frumpy Fat Faltering Frau

The Worst Dancer Whom Nobody Wants to See Dancing.

So You are a Pregnant Whale and Want to Dance, Take Tips from Manisha Koirala

Watch these and pity the Choreographers, pity the actress, and most importantly pity yourself.

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Bhansali’s Women

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After watching Saawariya, Black, HDDCS and Devdas, I have come to conclusion that:

Bhansali loves his women running around. Even if a staircase is available right next to where they are standing, his women must run through at least five doors and equal number of rooms to get to the opposite staircase to rush down.

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India Photologue

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I finally got around to publishing and uploading the photographs I took in India this time. A selection is presented here; obviously I think they are some of the good ones I took 🙂 – a small change from my other photologues – these ones have actual people. So, please respect the privacy of the people; they are all my cousins, brothers, sisters etc in the photographs.

Any photologue of mine is incomplete without a shot of my brother. He’s photogenic. I am jealous, thats all I have to say hehe!

Brother

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Saawariya vs OSO

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Which movie should I watch first?

Seeing the trailers is not helping much – while every song seems to look like the same in Saawariya, Om Shaanti Om seems ridiculous (With what a a man tied to rocket taking off into sky and all in trailer..).

Saawariya is just 2 hours 8 minutes, while I am pretty surer SRK will take all of those many minutes to just die ONCE in the movie. And then come back again and take as much time again to settle scores…

I will see…

Leopard Webclip feature!

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I am in love with this feature I must say – Now I can cut a snippet of web page and save it as a widget on my dashboard. Everytime I access the dashboard, the widget updates the web snippet.

Excellent way of going to annoying sites like TOI and rest, and reading just what you want to, without the pesky pop-up ads!

I can also keep a watch on my favorite ebay auctions the same way – without having to register with them to send me SMS, or IM or any such crap!

😉

Fall TV 2007-2008

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Like last year, tis the time to do a rundown on all the TV shows that I have been watching this season. There are some surprises this year as compared to last year. Also, because LOST doesn’t air till February, I am going to hold off a spot on it. LOST picked up brilliantly in second half of the season and ended with bang.

Without LOST around though, here are the TV shows that I’ve been watching this year.

Grey’s Anatomy: Grey’s Anatomy has entered ER territory officially, and losing its steam completely. The firing of two good characters coupled with little or no happiness in Seattle Grace hospital is now stopping short of hiring a shrink to keep the doctors in order. By this point, every noticeable doctor in the series has slept with one another, and they still can’t figure out which one to be with. What was once a very witty and humorous show has now become a ER clone. Why do I watch it? Guilty pleasure, and lack of anything to do on Thursday Night. I know I should be watching “The Office” instead, but I prefer to watch it online, and a one hour Office is taxing on the brain.

House: House Rocks! Period. Of course as all other series, House may not have the sheen of its first two seasons, but Hugh Laurie keeps the show alive. The producers were smart also to get a fresh start to the series, and by throwing newer sacrificial lambs to House means we are kept happy. Can’t miss this show.

Ugly Betty: I know, Ugly Betty is so gayyyy! But there is something wicked about Betty, and tongue in cheek humor. The series has definitely turned more edgy in its humor, but it suits it very well. Vanessa Williams is fun to watch. Now only if this series was not this gay….

Dirty Sexy Money: Best new show to debut this fall. Again, edgy humor and so well done. Plus, Donald Sutherland is a treat to watch as the billionaire concerned for his kids. The kids themselves form a hilarious group with varying proportions of dysfunctional thinking. The story deals with the family lawyer who joins this rich (make that extremely extremely rich) family and has to sort their life out on daily basis. I hope the show survives and keeps on breathing!

Pushing Daisies: Though this has been one of the best reviewed shows on TV this year, I am not sure if I think highly of it. Nonetheless, a very interesting concept makes the show very watchable. Its about a guy who can bring back dead people alive by touching them. They can stay alive for exactly one minute. If he doesn’t touch them again in that one minute, then they live forever, but somebody else around them must die to take this made-alive person’s place! If he touches them though within that 60 seconds, they go back to being dead, and never come back to life again. The guy uses this special power to solve mysterious cases and deaths to collect the reward on solving the cases. Zany concept isnt it? Add to it, the show is filmed in a very colorful and artistic way, making it a very different.

Friday Night Lights: Like last year, the best show on television last year still retains its position as the best new show this year for me! Its amazing how few people watch this show, which now has tried airing on every night of the week. The acting is fantastic, and the stories are moving ahead. Though there is a bit of drama in the series, it still retains that realistic look. And Lyla looks hot – she’s enough reasons to watch the show dammit!

That’s it – these are the shows I am following this Fall – hopefully I will do another one of these once the TV season gets over next year.

Jab We Met

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Guilty pleasure.

I wanted to hate the movie and sat through it.

It figured that I could sit through it was actually good thing.

Kareena is brilliant in her role. Her role is of an incessantly annoying girl. Absolutely suited her.

All in all, DDLJ meets HDDCS meets HAHK meets million other movies; yet enjoyable!

Things I dont care for!

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There’s a “The Bachelorette” with a twist on MTV. The bachelorette will try to find her true love amongst a group of well built men, and umm, women. “I am a bisexual!” claims the bachelorette, so its only fair she gets a taste of both genders. One female contestant fighting for her love calls the concept “groundbreaking” for television. The men just grunt when they come to know they not only have to fight one another, but women to get the woman of their dreams! One of them goes so far to say “Oh No!” (Dude, she’s a bisexual; if anything you should be excited about the prospect). Anyways, the bachelorette is very kinky, but as usual like all MTV shows, its load of crap; the only way this show can keep me interested is to eliminate men alltogether 🙂

Hillary vs Obama. Get over it already! Elections are not even close yet!

Desi Bollywood Parties. Went to one this friday night; turned out to be pretty pathetic.

Email from people inviting me to join Shelfari, asking me in the subject line – “Do we read the same books?” – Heck NO! First off, when did we last talk? A year ago? Two years ago? Never maybe? Then why the hell do you think we read the same books! Even if we do, so what? I am not interested in the books you have read or reading. Thank you!

Travel agents: Please don’t book my travel unless I say so. If I send you my credit card, and follow it up with an email saying “hold off the reservation”, and you acknowledge the email, it means something. Plans might have changed, things could be different. Just because you have my credit card doesn’t give you the liberty to go shopping when you feel like it! Frauds!

Winter is back again, so got my winter jacket out. I discovered a pack of chewing gum inside the right hand pocket. No idea since when its been around in the pocket? Last year? Maybe year before that? The expiry date is still a year away. I’ll eat it!

There, steam off my monday morning vent!

Why I love meetings

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  • Nothing much ever happens in meetings. There are rarely meetings which are really useful. They should simply call meetings “socializing” hour.

  • Most meetings are scheduled to discuss what to do next, and whether it requires more meetings to discuss what to do next.

  • Its too early to discuss something in most of the meetings. And then its too late.

  • If it doesn’t make any sense, all topics in meetings can be taken “offline”.

  • If something make sense, everyone wonders whether its too early to do something about it!

  • Everyone is always busy in a meeting. You either keep scribbling everything everyone says on your notepad, or keep trying to find an important email in your outlook. Either way, everybody must look busy and doing something very important.

  • Somebody must have an excel sheet or a Microsoft Project open in a meeting. The sole purpose of that someone is to keep re-entering and extending the delivery dates in meeting.

  • There should be a summary at the end of what transpired in the meeting!! It is usually followed by an email with a summary of the meeting. Most of these items will be anyways discussed again in the next meeting.

  • There is no way to “cut down” meetings. It requires more meetings to just plan about which meeting to “cut down” and then a regular weekly meeting to keep track of how well the meeting “cut downs” are going. Eventually it becomes important to discuss what meetings should definitely be “cut down” permanently, and what meetings should “re-begin”. Those meetings that deserve to begin again is a topic of another meeting.

  • Even if your only contribution to the meeting is uttering “Yeah, that’s right” to two questions in a 3 hour meeting, you are still required to be present! Or at least dialed into!

  • After three meetings it becomes very necessary for a short summary at the start of the meeting; coz by that time nobody has a clue what transpired 3 meetings ago.

  • The best way to get out of a tricky situation in a meeting is to blame the cause of it on a person who is not attending the meeting. By next meeting nobody cares or remembers anyways!

  • Meetings bring about great ideas that are never implemented outside the room.

Yeah – that is why I love meetings!! You got any more reasons… let me on!

Stuck with a Stinkpad!

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Grrr, much to my dismay, this big company IT only gives out 3 flavors of laptops. All through Lenovo!

So after much cribbing and whining about not wanting it, I got my Thinkpad T60P from work. I am pleasantly surprised how much crap factor from N300 series seems to have carried over to T60P – one would have thought this was still an IBM-Thinkpad brand.

Here’s a quick review of my Stinkpad:

  • Keyboard rocks. I have to admit it, it is one of the best keyboards I have used.

  • The 15.4 LCD screen sucks, more so because the native resolution of this screen is 1680×1050 pixels. At that resolution everything seems ant-sized. If you increase the resolution, the fonts seem smudgy! One would have thought they would put in a better card and a more sensible native resolution (1440×900 anyone?)

  • My Thinkpad came without a screw! Would you believe it? This morning I was trying to latch the laptop onto the docking station, and i turned the laptop around to examine it. Surprise, surprise, a screw is missing :).

  • The laptop doesnt detect it is on a docking station. Docking station needs to be replaced. I am not surprised.

  • Does NOT get HOT at all! (Apple are you listening?!)

  • Does not make a sound. I like that!! I hate noisy laptops; fortunately this is not one of them.

  • Seems sturdy, at least for now.

Overall:

A much decent effort than the disastrous N300 series, but leaves much to be desired. Not exactly what I would call a great “corporate” laptop, but I could do with it. Definitely more hype than it is talked about. Overall, a definite testament to Thinkpad’s declining quality.

I just wish I could use my MAC on the corporate network 🙁