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Of Sanjaya Malakar and Punctuality

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By now everyone must have heard about this ABCD kid doing his thing at American Idol. At 17 years of age, I must say he’s a perfect MKS (Malnourished Kid (from) Somalia), and his voice is as bad as his hairdo. Whatever I’ve watched off him, he is the absolute worst singer on American Idol right now. Period. He needs to go. And maybe feed himself a bit more.


(img courtesy: americanidol.com)

But what I do not get is the judges comments to him after his performances. This week, Randy Jackson labeled his voice as one from a “High school talent competition”, Paula Abdul questioned the maturity in his “17 year old” voice and perhaps he is not ready yet, while, Simon.. was well Simon. Now here’s a thing judges – what came through from your feedback is not how bad Sanjaya is, but how much worse your selection policies are. You (the judges) were the one who liked him during auditions, you were the ones who qualified him through the group stage and you were the ones who got him to the big stage. American Idol literally gets hundreds of thousands of auditions, and you the judges are telling me that you did not find anyone better than Sanjaya Malakar to be on the show? He is bad, there is no question about it, but saying that there were no other better singers than him during the auditioning reeks of stupidity, idiocy, and general lethargy to find a real good singer.

Ultimately if the idea of the judges was just get him on stage and berate him on how bad he is, he should not have been on the stage in the first place. How dumb can it get?!

That BBC’s standards are going from bad to worse is a given. Just how bad, I didnt know. Read this article today morning about different countries and their punctuality of time. The article discusses how people in some countries are less punctual, while people in other countries (namely Western, according to the writer) are sticklers to time. The article begins well mentioning about how people in some countries are more time conscious and punctual than others; and then comes the bombshell quote from some Mr. Klein:

“I think the common denominator is Protestantism, which imposes very strict ethics on time. It makes people believe that it’s almost a sin to waste time.”

Mr Klein says this view holds pretty much for all Protestant countries.

There. Next time you are late for something, conveniently blame it on your religion!!! How trite!!

Tag me! Oh tag me! Oh tag me soniye!

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Finally someone has tagged me. I love doing such inane tags. In the first of the series, I am responding to Nirwa’s 3 things tag. Following this, I will also write on a topic close to my heart – wierd dreams, thanks to Shruthi who’s asked me to do that one. Without much ado, here goes:

Three things that scare me :

  1. Ethiopian Cuisine. I puked the first time I had it – I am not trying it again.

  2. Vietnamese Soups. Seriously, someone needs to tell them that food is not 90% salted water!

  3. Grasshoppers. Ugly, green, and too big for their own size. I am boo-ed quite easily with these nasty insects.

Three people who make me laugh :

  1. Mithunda and Alok Nath

  2. Lata Mangeshkar. This 90 year old granny sounds like a guy reaching premature puberty these days.

  3. George Bush. Who else?

Three things I love :

  1. You really want to know?

  2. Swimming.

  3. Spending time with friends.

Three things I hate :

  1. Loneliness.

  2. Hypocrites.

  3. Octopus in Chinese restaurants. Who eats these freaks?!

Three things I don’t understand :

  1. Why I am single yet, exactly? 🙂

  2. Why haven’t I won a 100$ million lottery yet?

  3. Why didnt the chicken tell us why it was crossing the road before it did, saving us the trouble of answering that question?

Three things on my desk :

  1. A company mug, empty.

  2. A writing pad with lots of logos and designs, all done by me.

  3. A bug list which I am supposed to solve; its been lying around since last 3 months, the edges eaten up by bugs probably. I am not even sure if those bugs have evolved into something more sinister or have just died a natural death. Its a darwin world, software! Survival of the fittest (code)!

Three things I am doing right now :

  1. Writing this crap.

  2. Clearing my nose.

  3. Thinking why am I writing this crap when I should be clearing my nose.

Three things I want to do before I die :

  1. Travel to Antartica. Meet some penguins. And ask them to get a life! What the hell do they do in such weather?!

  2. Look back @ Life and say – ” I’ve lived “.

  3. Travel to Mars. Meet Mr. Radel.

Three things I can do :

  1. Be very loyal to people I know / love.

  2. Sleep 🙂

  3. Day dream.

Three things you should listen to :

  1. Nirwa’s dog-bark :D. No I am serious!

  2. Ocean Waves.

  3. Himesh Reshammiya singing – “Aaaaahista…Aaaaahista!”

Three things you should never listen to :

  1. Lata Mangeshkar. Somebody strangle her voice chords please!

  2. Jagjit Singh. Can he patent his voice as a sleep-aid medicine?

  3. Nirwa singing. Legends have it that every time she’s sung, the windows of cars have simply shattered.

Three things I would like to learn :

  1. Re-learn Guitar.

  2. To be organized. I am hopeless disorganized.

  3. Surfing! Ye ye!

Three favorite foods :

  1. Pav Bhaaji

  2. Indian-Chinese

  3. Tiramisu. Oh, is there anything better than this sweet in this world?

Three beverages I drink regularly :

  1. Water

  2. Chai with adrak and masala. Awesome!

  3. Duddhu.

Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid :

  1. Mowgli

  2. Tom and Jerry

  3. Tintin / Tinkle / Champak / Gokul etc etc.

Three people I tag :

  1. Shruthi. Ek haath tag de, ek haath le hehehehe 🙂

  2. Sudipta. And why not?

  3. SEV. Because he’s bored these days.

Book Review: Phaniyamma – A Significant Life

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I can’t believe I wrote this review way back in 2003. This book was gifted to me by a special friend whom I came to know online, and ‘ve met just once. Reposting it just because I want to.

Instantly moving, and instantly gratifying that’s Phaniyamma for you. A microscopic view of a society riddled with inane rules and regulations, caste system and prejudice, Phaniyamma succeeds in two ways: first in bringing about a subtle, but significant message, and second by not adhering either for or against the concepts in the book. Does this book endorse a cruel tradition of society? Or does this book in fact question the hypocrisy of the society in a very subtle but significant way? Phaniyamma’s greatest strength lies in the narrative which works both the ways.

Meet Phaniyamma in a small village, who is married off to an older man as in the norm of child marriage. The astrological stars have predicted a great match and wonderfully glorious long life of happiness. However, stars couldn’t have been in a much displaced position for Phaniyamma grows to be a widow at 12.

A society riddled with inane rules for widows. Widows must shave their heads, wear whites, eat once a day, stay away from others and practice the madi – the act of purification in daily work. In addition, a widow must work day in and out till her dying day. In an effect, she has been punished for her man dying. Witness Phaniyamma in such delirious settings in a highly prejudicial and rule based society, trying to understand her widowhood, even before she knows herself as a woman.

A widow woman leads her in a mindless existence, adhering to all the rules and dharma of the society. Phaniyamma never knows how it is to be a mother, how it is to be a woman. Phaniyamma shuns the union of man and woman for her cause, her destiny. Travel Phaniyamma a victim of social prejudice and hollow rules which move her mentally, but she doesn’t speak a word against them.

Years later a woman in the same household cannot accept that her whole life is going to while away as a widow. A Muslim family needs help to bear a child. Society has changed, rules have been mended, and life a little more luxurious than it could have been. Meet Phaniyamma then, the victor, as she supports the woman in her household, and then again she helps the Muslim family without a care for the society.

The victim and the victor Phaniyamma is both.

The original book was written in Kannada by M. K. Indira which won the Sahitya Akademi Award for the best book. The translation in English by Tejaswini Niranjana also won the Sahitya Akademi award for best translation. A movie in the same name swept the national and local awards as well.

The writing is simple, straight and to the point. No extravagant details, no overtly done situations. A journey of 113 years covered, well within 160 pages, perhaps indicates the strength of this book. The author herself mentions in the beginning that she writes the book because she thinks something is of significance to be told to us which is exactly true.

She brings about Phaniyamma as women who stuck to the rules laid out by society and lead them without questioning them. As a devout woman, her life was of peace and brining about help and peace in household, a respected woman, Phaniyamma is the moral example of a woman not questioning the society but fulfilling life’s obligations.

But ever without mentioning it or asking the reader to think upon, the author brings about the other side of the society in the reader. A gripping narrative succeeds in forcing the reader to question the very morality and rules of the bygone society, without ever hinting at it once through the eyes of the protagonist. Its in the strength of Phaniyamma as the victim of society and the eventually the victor within the very society that leaves you sad and happy at the same moment.

Overall…
A superb book – not to be missed by book connoisseurs.

My Favorite Coldplay Songs

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3 – Crest of Waves

It could be worse
I could be alone
I could be locked in here on my own
Like a stone that’s certain that drops
And never stops
I could be lost
Or I Could be saved
Calling out from beneath the waves
Beaten down by this ocean rain
Never again
Never again

Ohhh, Ohhh
Ohhh, Ohhh

Screaming out from the crests of the waves

2 – Such A Rush

Such a rush to do nothing at all
Such a fuss to do nothing at all
Such a rush to do nothing at all

Such a rush to get nowhere at all
Such a fuss to do nothing at all
Such a rush

And its just like you said
Its just like youll say

Such a rush to do nothing at all
Such a fuss to get nowhere at all
Such a rush, such a rush

1 – Dont Panic

Bones, sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
Homes, places we’ve grown,
All of us are done for.

And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world

Which are yours?

Multi-Media Singh

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In wake of the train blasts, and to save you from the trouble of re-iterating the same crap again, I will do this time for you:

“We condone these ghastly acts of terror”

“This will not affect India Pakistan peace efforts”

“Those trying to hurt the sovereignty of the country will be bought to justice!”

“This was an act of cowardice”

“Perpetrators of such acts will be severely punished!”

Here’s a question Multimedia Singh: Do you really have anything else to say, or you are just a wimp who doesn’t care?

Eklavya

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Please answer Mr. Vidhu Vinod Chopra.

Where was the story in this movie? My friend said after the movie – “The first half shows how the queen and the king died. The second, how everyone else died!!”. I have to say, in spite of all the conspiracy angles and all, ultimately there wasn’t much to it was there?

Why was Amitabh Bachchan looking like he was woken up at 2.00 am in the morning from deep sleep and told to face the camera? Is this why you gave him a Rolls Royce as a gift? All that AB does is look at something with brooding downcast drowsy eyes, and mumble something about Dharma, Beta, Raja etc at different times in the movie. Didn’t it occur to you that sleep is contagious, and by the time AB is drooping for the n-th time, we’ve would have started drooping too?

Hundred minute movie length is unheard of Indian movies, yet why do they seem so long and take forever to go through? Did you HAVE to use slow-motion camera sequences for every freaking shot in the movie? Was it necessary to show the Palace from conceivable angle, nook and corner from the sky – we get it!!

Did Raima Sen actually have to act in this movie? It seemed like a tailor made movie for her – she anyways seems a little off the moment she starts speaking. Did you pass off her lack of acting skills as labeling her a mentally disturbed kid? I must say that’s a stroke of a genius.

Why the hell was Vidya Balan so hell bent on French-kissing Saif Ali, urf the Prince, in the penultimate scenes of the movie, while the poor prince is trying to tell her something really devastating? Mr Chopra, that one particular nuance of kiss-desperation evoked much laughter and smirk from the audience, let me tell you that!

Mr. Chopra, you really love pigeons don’t you? I fail to remember any movie of yours which does not have an extended pigeon-o-drama scene. This one took the cake though. I thought the pigeon acted well. Or how many pigeons were killed during the shot?

The only thing that Jackie Shroff does not say was “Bachchaaaaaa!”, else you know where he’s coming from.

Considerring you used your own movie in a nicely composed scene, couldnt you take care that the scenes out of Parinda in the background were in order. For example, how did Anupam Kher die after Madhuri and Anil Kapoor made love? Minor details, yet observable.

And lastly…

Why were we not treated to a longer version of trailer of “Munnabhai Chale Amreeka!” – That was probably the BEST thing about Eklavya.


The movie is not too bad, but considering it came out of Vidhu Vinod Chopra, and his self confessed hype about how it took him 5 years to write this movie, ultimately it is quite disappointing. There are some brilliantly composed scenes in the movie and one twist in storyline, but the overall product left me restless and sleepy. A very average B+ movie.

Are you the one?

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Can we talk over a cup of coffee, somewhere outside, when it has just stopped raining, the sun is out and it feels a bit chilly?

Can you wake me up at 2.00 am in the morning because you feel like having an ice-cream?

Will you accompany me when I want to just, drive, on a moonless night beneath a sheath of stars?

Can I hold your hand while I drive the car?

Can I leave you a “I am sorry” note in the kitchen while you’ve gone to bed, miffed at me?

Would one rose do instead of twelve?

Will you bake me a cake on my birthday without my knowledge?

Will you be surprised if I did it too?

Can you laugh at my stupidity?

Can I at yours?

Can we both laugh at ourselves, sometimes?

Can I be the one you’ll turn around to, when there’s no one else? Will you be the one, in return too?

Will you drive the car if I get drunk?

Will you laugh at me the next morning, recalling how stupid I looked the night before?

Can I surprise you with a surprise travel plan?

Can you take me to a mushy movie and make me sit through it?

Can we go to concerts together?

Can we walk hand-in-hand gossiping about how idiotic the other couples walking hand-in-hand look?

Can we lay on the bed under the rug, and do absolutely nothing the whole day?

Will you crib about how I forgot our 1 year-12th week anniversary of the day the first time I said “I love you”?

Will you know me more than I know myself? Can I know you more than you know yourself?

If you think you’ve said yes to the above, are you the one?

If you are, why haven’t we met yet?

Kitni Der Tak

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Oh what a beautiful song!

Kitni der tak tum bhahar rukogi
Kitni der tak mein rukunga yahan
Kitne der tak tum sochiti rahogi
Yeh mein bhi dekhunga
Kitne der tak tum mujhe naa kahogi
Appne sheher aane ko
Kitne der tak dhundnaa hai bahahana tumhe
Kisi bhi trah chune kaa..

[Kitni der tak 2
Aaj shaam ya savere tak ]2

Odho bad main door javaa
Rowanga mein baithe door kishe vich
Odho bad main door javaa
Odho bad tu door javaa

Kitne der tum baatien karogi
Filmo ki aur falshafo ki
Kitne der arzoju aad mein chupegi
Coffee ki aur kehkaho ki
Kitne Der us dil mein rahega
mere naam per ek sawaal
Kitne der tak yeh changa girega

Rabbi is damn good.

Time goes by

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For once Orkut is doing some good. After what seems like an eternity now, in the last few weeks, we the classmates of St. Xaviers Loyola Hall having been catching up and adding each other in our networks. It is such a pleasant feeling when you run into a friend from so long ago. At first there’s apprehension – “Will he/she remember me?”, and then when they say “Of course I do!”, you know its true. It has been a pleasant feeling running to classmates of yore, discovering that few are already married, some still searching, some already have kids, while so many others have just moved to different countries. And yet, it seems so long ago now.

Last month too I ran into some of my closest friends from my college days. As I kept looking at their profiles and adding them, a flood full of memories came back to me. These were the guys whom I spent every single day with. It was such a daily ritual – getting together every single freaking day and talking about the same things over and over again. And it was not just them that came back to my memory, but with them, their families, their houses, their life, everything around them came back to life. Its been almost 7 years I have met much of them, and yet I remember everybody’s mother, father, sister, brother, dogs and what they do. I remember their houses, every nook and corner, the food I’ve eaten in their houses. I remember the late nights we’ve had, the bike rides, the parties, the hills, the life’s firsts that I did with them. It felt wierd – it almost felt like I was discovering a part of me with them. I added them all to my network.

Two different times, two different sets of people, and yet so many memories associated with them. One from school days, one from college days – they were something. I feel glad that for once Orkut has been useful. At the very minimum, I know that those from my past are still around, somewhere, each in their world, happy. And I could probably drop a line whenever I felt like it.

The funny thing is: After the initial flurry of “Hey do you remember me!” scraps and adding each other as friends and quickly knowing the whereabouts of each other, we quickly go back to today’s world, today’s friends, today’s problems only to resurface again months or years later, when we run into each other all over again, to realize how much time has yet passed by.

Maybe that is how it is meant to be.

28

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I turned 28 yesterday :-(.

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One step closer to 30.

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Last year, my birthday song was “Its Getting Old” By Goldspot. This year it is magical couplet of “hazaaroN KHwahishaiN ‘eisee”

This is precisely how I feel today, into my 29th:

“hazaaroN KHwahishaiN ‘eisee ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle
bohot nikle mere armaaN lekin fir bhee kam nikle”

(A thousand dreams such as these, that each takes a lifetime
I have many desires and yet they aren’t enough)

— Mirza Ghalib