Life is Wonderful.

I am really impressed by this song – Jason Mraz is a good artists. I loved the lyrics, especially the lines in bold:

“Life Is Wonderful”

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I’m saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action

It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is

It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is oh love
Ah la la la la la la love is all sorts of
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is holla holla
Ah la la la la la la next up bushwalla-walla
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

Time Flies.

2 Days ago my close friend called me and told me that he was moving back to India. It struck me then that, at that moment, the time flies, and flies incredibly fast. 4 years is a long time and a short time, depending on how I look at it!

4 years ago, here was I unsure about my own future, getting into grad school, still fresh out of college, with the rage and enthusiasm of the futre. 4 years thence, here I am, mellowed and grown up.

Inarguably – the first 2 years of gradschool were great – enjoyed a lot; working for 2 years after that makes you feel grown up a lot :(. 2 years of work, and I already feel grown up. 20 years of education, and I still felt young! ha!

The last student, The first teacher.

What is it about a Teacher and a Student that instantly bonds into some kind of a wierd and a close friendship between two people? I have always been a good learner and listener, and I have always excelled in everything in life when I have had a great mentor with me.

Few weeks ago I began my swimming classes with a instructor in a club. He had initially offered me 2 women instructors to teach me, and also mentioned he could as well too if I was ready. For some odd reason, I reasoned to myself that though learning to swim with a female teacher sounded quite exciting, however if my heavy self were to panic in water, I did rather prefer a stronger hand to save my life! Also, given the fact that instructor came accross as a very mild mannered man, I asked him to be my instructor.

From the very first class, for some odd reason I felt very comfortable with him teaching me swimming. I think it had a lot to do with how he taught me swimming. I had told him before hand that I had water phobia, so my first class was nothing but drowing myself in water and staying as long as I could under water. Well, surprise, it helped greatly!! Before the first class was over, I could glide 4 meters under water without giving up my breadth.

The next few classes went peacefully, till the last class I had with him, where he finally taught me arm movement and breathing. It was my last class, and I had already made my mind to have some more classes from the instructor. However hard he tried, I was just not able to do legstroke-handstroke-breathing properly at all. At one point, I got frustrated, and he immediately noticed that.

“I want you to do one thing for me” he said – “Go back to the wall, and all I want you to do is glide on water; Nothing else; just glide”. I obliged, and this time glided around 6 meters holding my breath. When I finished, he remarked – “See, its not so difficult to keep yourself above water. Dont FIGHT with the water, embrace it. You will float anyways”. I thought about it for a second and realized what he said was so true; On the way back, I did the arm-leg-breathing movement in the right way!

I had realized by then, how good an instructor he was that he could immediately correct me on stuff that I did wrong. At the end of the class he mentioned – “Today is our last class Suyog, and I have to tell you that you did an excellent job. Not many of my students have actually learnt the arm movement in 7 classes. Its great teaching you because you look so earnest about learning swimming. A lot of people I teach have either no time to practice or never get around to finishing the course, but you really seem to want to learn swimming“. Of course, this made me happy, why shouldnt it.

As I was getting late, I told the instructor I did meet him next day (As in today) to discuss our future classes. Today I met him again in evening, and he began explaining about how should I proceed further. I instantly agreed to take 4 more classes, and he again gave me the option of choosing an instructor. I asked him again to coach me further, to which he replied that he was leaving the club this week and moving to Virginia; and he didnt want to finish a course half way.

I dont know why, or what happened to me, but at that single instance, I felt instantly sad and dejected. I had almost assumed that he would be the instructor who would teach me further, but here I was hearing that not only my instructor was not going to teach me, but was leaving the club as well. He mentioned that his girlfriend got into VTech, and he had to make a decision to be with her. I signed up on his recommendation, this time, a female teacher (albeit, beautiful and is polish), yet the feeling of sadness didnt leave me.

As I scheduled my appointments with polish lady instructor, I decided to bid my instructor a good luck with his life. In his office, exchanging pleasantries he again said – “Suyog, you were one of the best students I taught swimming too; you might think I say this to everyone and I do say it to encourage my students, but It has been a real joy teaching someone as earnest as you. I will be getting a new job, away from clubs and swimming – so u are my last student, and I think I am signing off on a good note” I replied “You’ve been great teacher as well; I was really comfortable around you learning swimming and I think its got a lot to do with how you taught swimming”.

We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and thought about keeping in touch ahead; As I walked out of the club, I was quite moist and sad – here was an instructor whom I had barely knew for what – 7, 40 minutes classes – and yet, I felt a strange kind of bonding towards him, and I know people since years I couldnt care less about. Maybe he is a great teacher, and I have always loved learning under great teachers, and thats probably a reason why I felt dejected that I would miss out an oppurtunity to learn under someone good.

I think I will be pursuing swimming ahead, and maybe my lady instructor will not be the last teacher to teach me. But I guess, I will always remember that first instructor who taught me how to embrace water, not fight it.

Yes, I was his last student, and he my first instructor. Life is funny.

Seen an OX doing pushups?

…I did! Where do you ask? Of course my dream!

This has to be one of the wierdest dreams I have seen in a long long time, and when I woke up I made it a point to remember the dream and pen it down!

So as the dream goes, I am standing in my balcony contemplating a swim in the pool. And as I am looking at the park overlooking my balcony, I see an Ox and a Bison doing pushups!! Now imagine how they were doing pushups – they had their front legs extended, and these heavy duty animals are bending down, moving ahead and getting up – exactly like a pushup! I am wondering too, why these animals are acutally exercising.

Cut ahead, I am walking towards the pool with a old lady, and all we see going towards teh pool are bisons and oxen. At the pool, we are shocked to see that some Oxens and Bisons are actually swimming and playing the poool!! At the other end of pool, the lifeguard is washing other oxens. On being asked, she replied that it was a special day today for Oxen, and the pool was closed to all residents!! WE (I and the lady) are surprised and the lady remarked to me that they didn’t make the annoucement in the building. I agree and we start walking towards home, and behold – we now see the same two animals who did pushups running on treadmill! (Where the F*** that treadmill come from!).

At this point I got up – It was a wierd feeling allrite, and then I laffed to myself and decided to remember this dream!

God, I am wieeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrd

30 and 2.5….

Ok, another of those self bloating posts.

As of yesterday, I have lost 30 inches and 2.5 pounds – oh wait – its 30 pounds and 2.5 inches.

How did you measure 2.5 you ask? Go figure!

The Kite Runner

The art of book writing has long since ceased, since the time it has become a lucrative entry to Hollywood. Almost all new writers and their works solely feel like as if they were a stepping 1st draft screenplay for a Hollywood movie. It is a sad state this then, that when you have writers writing not for a book, but for a movie, the essence of reading a book is lost (and I might as well wait for the movie itself!). However in spite of its screenplayish nature and rather filmy moments suitable for a movie, Khalid Hosseni’s first work “The Kite Runner” sustains considerable interest throughout and doesn’t let go till the end. That in itself is no mean feat.

The Book
The Kite Runner from a book per se begins brilliantly, but once one of the principal characters relegates into the background, the book considerably deteriorates into a screenplay. Not that it doesn’t hold interest, but predictable situations and predictable dialogues begin to hurt what could have been an excellent debut novel.

The Kite Runner chronicles the life of Amir who narrates the story of his life since his childhood from 1975, when Afghanistan was about to be run over by Soviets. The historical premise for the novel is indeed very interesting, and various times reflect the conflict and turmoil within Amir himself. The story is also about his friend Hassan, who is also his servant. The initial years of Amir and Hassan are built up beautifully – the story telling is ecstatic and it builds the drama superbly till the author decided to turn the book into a movie and thereby making it a predictable fare.

Somewhere midway, you just know what is going to happen next, and that is where the book begins to falter. Though it ends on a subtle and a very nice note, its impossible to ignore that Hosseni was already planning a Hollywood entry with this book (and for those initiated, there is a movie coming out directed by Sam-EvilDead-Mendes next year).

What I liked
– Simple story telling
– No complicated plot turns and events
– Tugs your heart at places, especially in initial chapters and towards the end

What I spiked
– Could have been so much better if the author and not reverted to screenplay tactics
– The character of Amir is really irritating, and malformed at many places in the book.

Overall
Overall the book is just like my review 🙂 – somewhere down the line things hurry up and before you think what could have been much better review, it ends. Ha! Seriously, the book is a “feel-good” book, perfect for in-flight reading. Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed.

BTW, if you are wondering about the title of this review, I luved this line from the book, and is used at appropriate places, almost forms a tagline of the book.

Come, Make me Rich!

Another of those mails which I just love to no end!

DEAR FRIEND,
SABAAH AL-KHAYR.

I AM IBN MOHAMMED MOHAMMED,I AM 67YEARS OLD.IAM A CITIZEN OF SAUDI ARABIA,BUT I AM RESIDENT IN CAYMAN ISLAND.I WAS BORN AN ORPHAN IN 1937. I HAVE NO FATHER OR MOTHER, AND I HAVE NO RELATIVES.I STRUGGLED AND WORKED HARD AND ALMIGHTY ALLAH BLESSED ME ABUNDANTLY WITH RICHES.I USED TO BE A DEALER IN GOLD, DIAMONDS AND TANTALITE.I AM NOW OLD AND SICK. I AM NOT A HAPPY MAN.I HAVE NO WIFE AND I HAVE NO CHILDREN.I DID NOT GET MARRIED DUE TO A REASON I CANNOT DISCLOSE TO YOU.FOR 2 YEARS NOW I AM SERIOUSLY SICK. I AM PRESENTLY IN HOSPITAL SUFFERING FROM LUNG CANCER AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK WHICH HAS AFFECTED MY SPEACH.I CAN NO LONGER TALK AND I AM ALSO DEAF.MY BODY IS PARALYSED.THE DOCTORS SAY I HAVE ABOUT 2 MOUNTHS LEFT TO LIVE.I SEND YOU THIS MAIL WITH THE HELP OF MY PRIVATE NURSE, ASSISTING ME. I CAN ONLY MOVE MY RIGHT HAND,AND I AM ABLE TO WRITE LITTLE WITH IT. WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN IS BEEN SENT TO YOU VIA EMAIL BY MY PRIVATE NURSE AND CARE TAKER. I HAVE LITTLE TIME SO I HAVE COMMITTED IT TO SPREADING MY WEALTH TOWARDS BETTER HEALTH CARE FOR MANKIND.IN THE HOSPITAL WHERE I AM ,I HAVE GIVEN THE MANAGEMENT ENOUGHF FUNDS TO UPGRADE AND BUILD A NEW CANCER RESEACH FACILITY.THIS WILL PROVIDE BETTER HEALTH CARE FOR OTHER CANCER PATIENTS. I DONT KNOW YOU, BUT DUE TO MY CONDITION AND THE WISH OF ALMIGHTY ALLAH I
AM CONTACTING YOU WITH THE HOPE THAT YOU WILL CARRYOUT MY INSTRUCTION FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY.I HAVE US$6million IN GOLD DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY DEPOSIT COMPANY .I WANT YOU TO TAKE CUSTODY OF THE GOLD, SELL IT AND USE THE MONEY TO BUILD AN ORPHANAGE IN YOUR COUNTRY. YOU WILL NAME IT MOHAMMED ORPHANAGE HOME.

YOU MUST FOLLOW MY WISH FOR IT WILL GLADEN THE HEART OF ALMIGHTY ALLAH.

IF YOU ARE READY TO DO THIS AND CARRYOUT MY WISH, THEN SEND ME
[1]YOUR FULL NAMES
[2] YOUR PHONE/FAX NUMBER
[3] AND YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.

WITH THE HELP OF MY PRIVATE NURSE I WILL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU.

I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
ALLAH HAFIZ.
IBN MOHAMMED MOHAMMED.

— Hello sir? U were born orphan (how??), You didnt have brothers or sisters (Of course dumb man, u said you were an orphan!), U are paralyzed, had a heart attack, have lung cancer, your speech is impaired, you cannot write, you have an un-discloseable disease and you are deaf too! Did someone say you are DUMB too?! And your private nurse is another dumb idiot who doesnt want your $6 million, so you want me to take it!

Sigh!! If you existed in reality I would be by your side sire. 😀

What are you waiting for?

Yesterday I came across this ad for a prescription medicine on TV. Not that its unique or one of its kind, but I couldnt help the hidden sarcasm thrown at the patient in the ad.

Don’t really remember what was the prescription medicine for – yeah – it was RA – R(something) Arthiritis. So, it was this pill designed to be taken once a day to negate and get rid of RA. And the Ad with a soothing voice of a lady went thus…

“….So ask your doctor about RA %&## prescription medicine. People with liver problems, kidney problems or heart ailments should not take $%$. If you have High Blood Pressure, Diabetes or Osteriopersis, please talk to your doctor to see if ##* RA medicine is right for you. Side effects may include headache, blurred vision, weight loss and or fatigue. Pregnant women should not take #$#$ RA. If you are already taking prescription for Low Blood Sugar, Hypertension or cetain types of Heart Ailments, see if Prescription #$%# RA is right for you. In rare cases, Heart failure, Ulcer Problems and Muscle loss has been reported using Prescription #%# RA. So what are you waiting for?? Talk to your doctor today! “

Hello Lady?? Are you even sure that a normal human being qualifies to be treated with this Prescription @#%# RA?

Book Review: One Hundred Years Of Solitude

Another of my past Reviews. This review was a difficult one to write – I had just finished the book, and I was trying to write this in a very convuluted, long-drawn, wordy way: much like the way the book is. Except that I dont write that brilliant :). Two years hence, I have corrected an awful lot of mistakes that I got carried away with the first time. I didnt want to rewrite this completely because that would take away the spirit I wrote the review with, however bad it is.


After a 150-200 pages or so I had given up on the book. It was almost as if I had been reading a monologue of disjointed events, told in an uneven time, set in an indistinguishable period, played by a variety of characters named similarly to each other, and a cornucopia of a series of events making no sense. However old habits die hard, and thankfully I decided to finish the book. 15 days ago I set out to complete the journey of the Buendia family. After a fortnight, I was still left in middle with 2 generations of Accordio and Aurelianos and their meaningless, miserable, happy-sad existence. Yesterday however, after a decision to finish the journey, led me to stay put on my bed, in solitude, to travel the rest of journey with the family, in search of that end which had tired me out, to find what happened at the end of it, and maybe try to understand why everyone who reads this book calls it a classic, perhaps also try to make sense of how, when, where, and what the book implied, and in doing this understand the hidden brilliance, the atrocious sexual innuendos, the comic-tragic tragic-comic events spanning a hundred years, that occur in this book, maybe in search of solitude.

After 500 pages at end, I read the events that bought up the book and how Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote this in almost poverty state. I couldn’t help but also notice how Gabriel himself becomes a character and friends the Buendia Family, or when Gabriel creates an allusion of his son and daughter in the book. The striking secret in the family, the secret parchments, the three unknown men, the lost treasure, the hidden love, the emptiness of closed windows, the warmth of open windows, the string of bad lucks, the ironic predictions between the beginning and end of that of the chestnut tree and dragging ants, to the instant where one sees his future the moment it were to take place, all of this creates an exposition that leaves you stunned in silence for a few moments; Its all that and more in the multitude of hundred years that span this book.

In a sense, which hundred years was the author talking about, perhaps, is a mystery left to the reader. For the hundred years begin with a mention of Francis Drake who attacked Rioacha in 1500s, to the modern day planes, perhaps meaning a time frame from anywhere between 1600s to 1900s a time scale suggesting a scale of hundred years spanning multiple centuries. That’s probably the first of its kind which the book offers. The supernatural events, the ghosts of forefathers, the gypsies, the birth of a city, the endless rain, the endless sunshine, chocolate elevating father – the effect can be best described as amalgamation of Joseph Heller’s Catch 22’s madness with Salman Rushdie’s imaginary worlds. They give rise to a term which probably the author who published his work well before the above mentioned authors and inspired them and not otherwise, must take the honors for coining the words Magic Realism

It’s a mystical world of Macondo, where the story ends, but then not without weaving an intricate picture of the birth of the place, the hustle bustle of the village, which turns to town, which turns to city, a developing place, unsafe place, finding itself destroyed by years of rain, and then years of sunshine, and more perhaps, the solitude it had when it was first discovered. It weaves with it, an intricate tale of a family spanning 6 generations, each one having a common names of their fore-fathers, and with the name, the common fate. The six generations go through a life of pure love, fear, superstition, incest, identity crisis, self evaluation, loneliness, and phases of solitude, in a circle, as an irony perhaps to indicate that history repeats itself; Similar mistakes are made, and though a prediction exists to remind them of past history, it awaits till the moment where history ceases itself, that you finally realize when history was just about to beginning to be understood, it ends, almost tragically

Through the expense 6 generations, I was taken through a maze of stories which went around in circles to come to an end. Sometimes the multiplicity in different perspectives to the same incident made for a confusing, and at times boring read too, but offered clever handling of the incidents, to the point that they made you wonder how the author managed it. At one instant, several incidents happen at the same time retold at different intervals at different time periods and written in a way so coherent, that only if you realize you as a reader is going through the same phase as the Buendia, that is, you too like him went around a circle to come to the same point, will actually be able to really appreciate how well developed particular incidents are. Don’t worry if you get the lost coming back to the same point of the story from different ends, you will always, as I did, meet a crossroads in stories to remind you where you where.

As if this were not enough, you will be taken to a world where almost anything could happen at any given time, but might mean nothing at all eventually A world where non-accepted norms of society seem absolutely normal, to the extent of being a matter of fact. Gabriel not only uses his past experiences of his life to tell the tale, but creates an illusionary world of Macondo, almost like a Malgudi, which he uses in other stories too, however, this being the life of Macondo as it were. One hundred years spans more than anything else, and not only will require you to read it in as it is, in solitude, but will also expect you to be a part of life at Macondo, to see the mirage of events yourself.

To return to that indelible question that I asked myself at the beginning whether this book is a classic Maybe as I write these words, do I also realize it, it is.