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Ever since everyone around me (who is remotely few inches wider than I am) have learn’t that I lost over 50 lbs (25 Kgs) over 2 years ago, I am barraged with questions which range to predictable to absolute surprise. “How did you lose so much weight?”, “Did you eat?”, and last of all “Why did you lose weight? You looked good chubby chubby!” – and this without taking into account the number of emails I get.

Hence to answer everyone’s questions, I have prepared a FAQ to make things simpler. Next time someone asks me questions, I am pointing them here.

Why did you lose weight?
I got tired of carrying my weight around.

No, seriously why did you lose weight?
Are you trying to justify why should lose weight versus why you should not? Good luck.

No, answer seriously, why did you lose weight?!
Because I wanted to feel good, feel healthy, and feel fresher. Good enough reason? No? Because I could re-eat all the bad things and get fat again 🙂

Did you have to exercise to lose weight?
Of course not! I just kept twiddling my thumbs over which American Idol would be kicked out next. It was intense, my heart was at optimum rate throughout the show and Paula Abdul made me sweat.

Dont ask a stupid question. Lack of exercise was one reason you got fat anyways. So doing it is only going help you cut your excess flab out. Try it.

Did you also have to eat less?
I did not have to eat less. I had to eat right. Which, did not necessarily mean cutting down on ice-creams, chocolates, fudges, butter chicken and the likes.

What do you mean?!
I just controlled my eating to 2200 calories a day. I didnt care how many times I ate, what I ate or how I ate it. I wouldn’t cross the limit.

How did you arrive at that magic figure? Is it the same for women?
Normal males require 2400 calories under normal day-to-day life. If you are fat, its likely you eat way more – simple isn’t it? 🙂 And no its not the same for women.

Do you know what is it for women?
No. If you’re motivated, Google will help you.

So how do you calculate that number everyday then?
Thank God to the USA :-). And its paranoia with labeling anything that remotely sounds as food with nutrition stickers.

That means I cannot lose weight in India is it?
No. That just means eat less!

But you just said you didn’t have to eat less!
Yes. I said eat right. Eating right will involve eating less. Sorry to dash your hopes :(.

Lets change the topic. I go to the gym regularly. I lift a lot of weights. I am still not able to lose weight. What must I do?
First off darling – lifting weight isn’t going to lift off weight off you. You see that treadmill in the corner – yes, the one in the dark dingy corner of the gym – the one you don’t necessarily like to look at? Yes. That one – now get your ASS on it, and start running! That’s about the only way you can even start thinking of losing weight.

I have never run in my life! I can’t run more than 10 seconds – I feel tired.
That is the idea :-). Keep working at it. Add 10% of your last running distance every week. One day if you are still alive, you will make it to 30 minutes of running. By that time you probably wouldn’t need to run that much. You may return back to your weights.

Will hot women/men swoon over me once I slim down?
Unlikely. Tsk! Tsk!

Can I stop exercising once I reach my goal?
You can. Only be prepared to start all over again very soon. Its not the losing part that is difficult, its keeping it there that is more difficult.

I heard that fat converts to muscle. I am very fat, so will I become very muscular?
That’s a wrong impression you have baby. Fat does not convert to muscle. Period.

But my gym instructor told me so!
He was trying to pep you up.

How many times should I exercise a week – I don’t want to miss American Idol, Kyonki Saas Bhi, Woh Chand Sitare Rimjhim, Dil Dariya Hain soaps.
As many times a week you want. Only thing, your results will be equally proportional to the number of times you do something in a week. Its very likely your gym has a TV. Try looking inside sometime 🙂

My wife is pregnant. She is getting fatter. Should I also get fat to give her company?
Excellent idea!

I’ve read that the best time to exercise is between 4.00 pm and 5.00 pm in the afternoon? Is that so?
The best time to exercise when you are fat is : Anytime. Whoever came up with such weird times was a bozo.

No. Seriously I heard exercising in the morning helps you lose more weight versus exercising at night?
Yes, the difference is 10 grams.

I like the way I am right now. If people don’t like the way I look, then its their problem! I am comfortable being who I am.
Actually people around you don’t really care.

No. They do. It reeks of cheapness when they cannot accept the way I am today. You either accept the way I am or you don’t!
Yes. They made their choice. So what’s your question again?

They saying losing weight builds your self esteem, builds confidence and makes you perform better (where-ever that is). I think its a load of crap.
Thats a good start. Though you will change your mind later on.

You are mean. I am sufficiently motivated to lose weight! When do I start?
Now.

*Notes: Always talk to your doctor before beginning any exercise and diet program. I did. And I followed his advice. The doctor’s advice was: eat less and exercise daily.

**Disclaimer: If for some unforeseen reason you actually start after reading this and something happens to you, good luck. Don’t sue me. I don’t earn much, certainly not enough to cover your medical costs. Instead visit a doctor. Read Notes above – talk to your doctor.

***Disclaimer2: I cannot tell you how much more happier I am today when I fit into size 32 jeans. You feel jealous? Sorry. You can do it though.