Travel Agent Woes

Don’t you just love it when travel agents give you un-asked for advice? And with me, that is especially the case. Travel agents assume I am stupid and need directions, and it is their responsibility as a good agent to show me the way. Even if it means few hundred bucks less in their business. So over the last one and half months, my mind has been muddled with travel agents and the arrangements for the upcoming wedding (Whose wedding? Oh yeah! Mine. Bad joke. Sorry honey!). Added to the mix is that I was initially traveling from east coast, now all of it has to be changed to west coast. And a change from east to west means, well, a east to west change. Anyways, here are some of the collected pearls of wisdom I have got from travel agents when I have tried to book tickets through them

Me: “Can I get a fare quote from SFO to Ahmedabad between these dates? I cannot travel Singapore airlines as I cannot take a morning flight on Friday…”
Agent: “The best deal we can give you is Singapore Airlines”
Me: “I cannot leave on Friday morning – any other airlines?”
Agent: “Singapore is the best airline to travel…”

And so it went.

Next –

“Can I get a fare quote from SFO to Ahmedabad between these dates blah blah..”
“The cheapest option is to fly Malaysian airlines”
“Yes I know about it, but it is a 42 hour journey, and I am looking for the shortest traveling time”
“But other options can be expensive!”
“Yes I know, can you give me some numbers?”
“Why do you want to spend more money when you can go so cheap? Its only 42 hours!”
“Can you or can you not give me a quote”
“The only other less expensive option is Singapore air…”

Grrrrrrrr. Next –

“Please give me quote from SFO to Ahmedabad via european airlines only. My criteria is shortest time to travel”
“Korean air gives the best deal sir. Its only $$$$. But you cannot fly on Friday. You have to fly on Thursday or Monday”
“I can’t do either – I dont have holiday on Friday and Monday is too late. I have done my research. How about European airlines”
“Can’t you take a leave on Friday? You will save so much money!”
“Can you talk to my employer?”
“No sir. We can’t do that sir. But if you take holiday on Friday, then you will reach one day earlier also and you will get a good deal!”
“I am not interested in a deal right now, I just want some quotes to compare with online quotes. Can you give me those numbers?”
“Sorry sir, we don’t deal with European carriers”.

Next time, just stick to the point, will you? Next –

“Please give me a one way quote from Washington DC to Ahmedabad, and Ahmedabad to SFO”
“Why are you flying out of DC?”

None of your business. Next –

“Please give me a quote between DC and Ahmedabad, can be via Delhi or Bombay and return from SFO to Ahmedabad”
“Air India is the cheapest option”
“No. Not Air India – I just don’t like flying that airline. How about Lufthansa or British Airways”
“Air India is Indian sir. You will get good food also. Why don’t you fly Air India?”
“No. Can you simply tell me about Lufthansa?”
“They are expensive”
“Yes?”
“They are expensive. I can give you a quote, but I know you won’t book it. You will go back to Air India sir. So why not book it?”

Thank you. Next time, keep your assumptions to yourself. Next –

That was last week. Next –

“Please give me a quote from SFO to Ahmedabad or DC to Ahmedabad and Ahmedabad to SFO back for two people. Also I cannot travel Singapore or any Korean-Malaysian airline. I don’t like Air India either. My criteria is shortest travel time. Please avoid Gulf Air. I can do with connections via Bombay or Delhi in India”
“Sir you are asking one way from SFO to ahmedabad and one way from Ahmedabad to SFO – its a return ticket sir!!”
“Oh yes – of course. You’re smart. So do you have anything for me?”
“Singapore Airlines….”

Next –

“Sir you want one wone way tickit from Ehmadebad to SFO right?”
“Yes”
“May I ask why? sir – coz you veel end up paying a loth of munny for that ticket”
“I am getting married. My wife is coming along with me. So I need the one way ticket”
“Ken you ask her to come in April or Mey. Tikits will be cheaper you know – I can give a good deal”

WTF? Next –

“So you want one ticket from either SFO or DC to Ahmedabad via a European carrier with acceptable stops in Mumbai or Delhi. Right sir?”
“Yes”
“You can return by Singapore Airlines”
“Yes, I can return by Singapore Airlines. I cannot go by Singapore Airlines”
“See sir, that is the problem. Only return it becomes expensive. So why don’t you come back the same way you are going?”
(I never said I wouldn’t want to dumbhead!) “Yes – I can do that. So what will be the quote?”
“Well sir, if you want to leave from SFO, I can give you the quote, if you want to leave from DC you will have to call our DC office”
“OK give me quote from SFO”
“I have an idea. Why don’t you travel to DC and fly out sir? It will be cheaper”

Strike two dumbhead! Why was I even asking about DC in the first place moron? Next –

There’s no next. I have given up hopes on these agents and am simply booking the tickets online. It may be expensive by some hundred two hundred bucks, but I cannot handle any more advice from these friendly travel agents!

Next post – my resort agent woes. Another wonderful story, in a totally different direction!