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I think there is an age after which no matter what another country gives you, you will always be comfortable in your own and can’t wait to go back. I see this especially with desis. There is some cut off point in age at which point older folks just find way more comfort and homeliness back home. My in-laws have been wanting to go back for 2 weeks now; I hear this all the time from friends too about their own parents who can’t wait to go back to India after few weeks. Heck some of my friends parents have just outright told them they won’t be visiting anymore and the only visitations will have to be my friends going to India instead. It’s not like they live with their kids there either – most parents we know live alone, including my in-laws, but they’d much prefer that over living with their kids here. I don’t think it’s the country that’s the draw, as much as community, familiarity and comfort they feel there vs feeling like an outsider here (which to be honest, even as citizens we still feel!). We’d apply for green cards for either of our parents, but they’d never move here-not even the lure of spending time with their grandkid will work. Heck my dad even gave up his green card this year to go back to tourist visa, even though he’d be a prime candidate to move here considering all his besties are here more than India.

Our in-laws leave today and my kid is kind of relieved. She loves them, but also she’s grown up in an isolationist nuclear family mode (much like pretty much all desi kids here), and after a while she simply wants to go back her nuclear family. Unlike us, who grew up much more in a joint family setting so we are the opposite that we feel sad about them leaving. No one’s right or wrong – just how upbringing affects your thoughts growing up. (Before you go nuclear, I have desi friends who grew up in India in nuclear families who are exactly like my kid, so this is not a country issue).

Apple Watch sleep metrics are usually a good early sign of illness. I woke up today not feeling great and all my “vitals” are above normal. Told A and soon after my report pings me she is sick and not coming in. I had an hour long 1:1 with her in a small office yesterday so yeah FML.

I got in for second round of FIFA lottery too and was able to secure tickets the match we actually will make it. July 4 Saturday, Round of 16, Philadelphia! No matter who plays against who, this match was our first choice to make it to have a “World Cup” experience and I am glad we are able to! Now I just have to resell the other tickets I have :D. Nice problem to have!

The kid wrote a poem yesterday:

When will I leave this town?
By: Kid

The occasional creaking of a floorboard
A rumble of car once or twice
It’s too quiet in this small town
I say with no such delight

I tried to stay back
Sold half my clothes and belongings
Cut down on expenses and shopping
But alas, the money was too tight

So I moved out of the big city
Where it was loud all the time
People chattering and cars honking
Even during the darkest hours of the night

There was always something going on there
Never a slow moment
Not like here
Where it seems to be that all people do is stay inside and write

I haven’t seen more 2 people outside
Both silent and distant
I can feel them judging me from afar
I think they think I bite

This house is too old
It’s bathroom too small
My apartment back in the city
Was big and had some sights

There are no excitements and fun
Around this small town
Just dusty old grocery stores
And a small airport that has just one flight

My self pity is drowning me
The boxes on the floor like cages that trap
The silence is unbearable
Spending my life here will be a plight

Restless sleep takes over
Tossing and turning through all hours
Memories of old invade my mind
Trying to stop remembering is like getting into a fight
A week has gone by
And I still feel like I don’t belong
Friends from home contact me and tell me this is for the better
But it still doesn’t feel right

It’s a struggle to get out of bed
To see the empty streets
I wonder every day
When will I leave this town?