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Why are so many people sick everywhere? These days if I have to visit a pharmacy or grocery store, masking seems like a must!

At the funeral I asked his dad, *How can we best help him?* to which he replied *Nothing. Its a journey he has to take alone. You can be on the side beta, but ultimately he needs to walk it alone*. Its forever etched in my memory now, the way he said it in the most matter-of-fact way. He was 100% right of course, but to maintain that level of composure and thought reminded me of my own grandpa who pulled me aside on the 13th day of rituals and told me *From now on, your mom is a just a story in your life*.

I’ve never had to deal with death up close and personal up till now, even though I have lost people. Even with mom, by the time I was in India everything was done, I didnt even get a chance to say goodbye, and only thing that remained was rituals to complete over next 11 days. Yesterday was the first time in my life I was at a cremation and experiencing final goodbyes and it was just really, really tough. She was just three.

All of us friends hung around with dad & mom through the day. We welcomed guests coming in from near & far to pay their respects, consoled them when they broke down. We consoled each other when it was too hard to bear it. But the hardest moment personally for me was to hold my friend close while telling him it was time to let go. Those few moments are etched in my heart and if I can feel that much pain I simply cannot imagine what they are going through. As much as I share their grief, I truly will never ever even comprehend the magnitude of loss they feel.

Later when everyone had left, we stuck around with them because they didnt want to leave, just yet. It was a somber moment for all of us. As each one of us was consoling them, I couldn’t help notice the passage of time between us. We sat around talking nonsense about grad school 2 decades ago, to talking trash about cricket, to our new jobs, to our new beginnings with our wives, and kids, to trips and parties. I never imagined a day we’d all be sitting around grieving a life taken away so soon from them, and all of us. At this point, all I know is we are all here for each other & them, and nothing will make us relieved to see them recover in their way, at their own pace. We got their back.

Hug your kids tight today and hug them some more.

Never felt this empty and full of grief that I am feeling tonight. I want to write so much but first I need to cry my heart out 🙁

Man the last few episodes of only murders has really amped it up a bit. Loving it!

I am looking for a good, quiet under cabinet beverage fridge that can hold wine and other beverages, under 1k, preferably even lesser. Feels like a challenge trying to find one!

This miserable stretch of rain needs to stop! It’s been raining nonstop for the last 5 days and it’s getting to everyone now. I already have two big branches which broke from trees and in my property.

Slightly predictable, but *Drops of God* was an excellent watch on Apple TV. Also loved that its a mini series and wraps everything up just about as good as it can. Recommended!

Last night was a little tough. Grief comes in waves, and it hit us both harder last night as we were scrolling through pictures of years past. Still hard to process that it only feels like a few months ago they announced their pregnancy at get together at our place, or me claiming to be her favorite uncle just coz one time she decided I needed to be her official carrier, or how my doggo was really piqued by her tiny size and wouldn’t leave her alone. Hopefully as this weeks drags on becomes easier on both of us, especially A who’s taken it way harder.

Today is worse than yesterday. All of us are just saying the same things over and over on WhatsApp because nobody wants to talk but we need to share.