I came home earlier than expected today and as usual the first thing I do once I come home is to switch on the TV. While channel surfing, Martha Stewart caught my eye, and I decided to stay on. Not that I find her beautiful, but I had heard a lot about her daily day time show Martha, and I found a great desire to find out what Martha Stewart and her guests talked about everyday – And if you haven’t figured out yet, Martha is a woman’s show and it was ultra high on cheesy talk factor. For more about how she got so famous, read about Martha here.
Anyhow, today’s guest with Martha was Jennifer Garner aka Alias aka Ben Afleck’s girl friend. I came to know she was Ben Afleck’s girlfriend today – yeah, I am quite ignorant about who dates whom every two months in Hollywood. Nonetheless, because Jennifer was pregnant, Martha decided it was enough a reason to have her audience to be pregnant too; yes, her audience were all women (of course!), and all of them pregnant, eager to hear with utmost interest about Jennifer and mother to be experience! Sigh – how lovely.
So Jennifer bored me, audience and Martha (who looked most bored if you ask me!) with irrelevant details about how she couldnt find a crib for her upcoming child and how it was an “expensive” thing. (At this juncture I must remind you that Ben Afleck, her boyfriend, and J.Lo’s ex-boy friend had enough money to buy J.Lo a diamond studded toilet seat for J.Lo’s precious bottoms ).
At some point, Martha asked Jennifer – “So Jennifer, do you cook at home? Do you cook for Ben?
Jennifer (blushing) – “I do love to cook, but you know…”
Martha – “Oh you do cook! Does Ben like to eat food? Is he a huge eater?”
Jeniffer (blushing more than ever) – “You know I did love to cook for Ben, but he’s been so healthy the past few months….”
(meaning, I would cook to kill, literally, when the time comes)
Anyhow, after their mush talk, Martha suggested that they get to their next segment of the show – Cooking – (I figured that Martha was bored and quickly wanted to get ahead with it). What happened next made my evening.
Martha to Jeniffer – “So what are we going to make today Jeniffer?”
Jeniffer – “You know Martha, I have been really wanting to learn to make Yogurt. You know I’ve tried hard, but I’ve heard home made Yogurt is the best!! I want to learn to make Yogurt!” (That Jeniffer is not as internet and pc savvy as she projects herself to be in Alias is clear by this point)
Martha – “Oh you poor thing! Ladies, we will teach Jeniffer how to make Yogurt”
She continued – “You know its really simple. Just take 1/4th or half gallon of fat free milk in a vessel. Heat the milk till 185 degrees; Once heated, cool the milk till 110 degrees; Then take some yogurt that you already have and mix it in the milk. After the milk cools down completely, refrigerate it for 10-15 hours and your Yogurt is ready!”
Jeniffer – “Thats it??!”
Martha – “Thats it – I told you it was simple!!”
Jeniffer – “I had a question – how much would you heat the milk – like does it boil at 185 degrees?”
Martha – “No, at 185 degrees, milk will not boil – but just heat up…”
Jennifer – “Oh thank you Martha!!!” and Jeniffer gave a hug of great appreciation to momma Martha.
…At which point I was already in fits of laughter.
Now I want to ask Martha, how did she discover such precise heating tempratures for heating milk – 185 degrees and 110 degrees? Thats like – wow – precision numbers here. Martha also missed out on saying that the vessel she heated the milk in actually had a thermometer attached to it to aid her temperature reading – so necessary requirement being the vessel. Martha oh Martha, I know Yogurt is the simplest thing in the world to make, but umm, did you have make a joke out of it?
And Jeniffer – you love to cook as you said earlier in show, and you did love to cook for Ben, but take my advice – please dont cook Yogurt for him! dont ever!
Sigh, I love these daily shows.