This is the giddy limits!!! I am so damn obsessed about my weight loss that now I am feeling nauseatic! (there, I dont think I spelled it right either! Blame it on MS Word for spoiling my English!). What began as a good obsession is simply getting on my nerves these days.
But you have already lost a lot of weight you say – and I say yes, but thats not the problem! The problem is keeping it away which is making me sick, demented and obsessed!
I really miss my days when I was fat and happy; round and jolly; and I couldnt care less if I ate a classic bagel topped with three spoons of cheese or less; I couldnt care less if I had 3 slices of pizza for lunch and then a splendid meal of Rice, Chicken Schezwan and the likes at night – I could top it off with a milk shake too at night before sleeping. And I couldn’t care less which ice-cream I ate because I loved ice creams! Chocolates pretty much were always around; Bread and Pasta were my bread and butter (err, wrong analogy…) make that Rice and Pasta (still bad!).
But one fine day, my brain (or my body) decided – enough was enough – and it was time to stop carrying the weight around; so off I went on a weight loss drive, armed with enough information about diet and exercise off the web that I can now be a certified nutrionist if I want too. Through careful planning, exercise, diet control and so much more I lost so much weight; friends exclaimed, relatives were shocked, the world was seeing a different me, and after losing 50 poounds, I definitely like I won my own Biggest Loser challenge…
BUT
… Things took a nosedive from there; I have figured that losing weight is much simpler than actually maintaining it! Its an obsession – even a pound or two more makes me sick; I sometimes feel like cutting off my stomach and growing it back again – but I just don’t want any fat lingering around.
Result: I dont eat ice creams any more; chocolates are a strict no-no. Bread, Butter, Rice and Pasta along with Potatoes are out of the windows. I avoid high cholestrol foods, and generally dont eat anything too oily or too fatty (which kicks out pizza and the likes out!). So then how do you live??!! you ask.
And I say – well, thats the obsession! I am not sure what I want now; and frankly I dont even know whether I am happy having lost that much weight now!!! Sometimes I feel I was much happier carrying my weight around – atleast there was one less burden on my shoulders – keeping it off!
Its a highly ironic feeling that I have these days; I am supremely proud of my achievement – and yet I am absolutely pinned because I dont want to gain that weight again, but I also dont want to exercise and eat right!
Pah!! I would do anything in this world right now to maintain my weight except diet and exercise!