It was well decided that an only a C grade Hindi movie do and nothing else yester night. My creative juices suggested to my friends that few days ago I read a review on this movie and how about going for it! I had to get back my revenge on my friends for refusing to watch MPKDH with me. This, I thought provided the perfect way! At the very outset I reminded others that this movie was a cross cultural, cross country, inter racial, patriotic, family oriented, sacrificial and above all a triumph of true love movie. Looking at the epic scope of the movie, my friends loved the idea.
The movie has a superb script to speak of. I mean the imagination and the thought given to write the script is really commendable. Right from the first frame to the last frame, a mark of a genius is stamped all over it. Such originality is rarely seen in Hindi movies. What follows is what we tried to comprehend of the movie, scene by scene.
Scene 1: After an exasperated show of patriotism towards Kashmir from both sides of the border, the movie finally settles down to begin with a song . hum veer jawan is desh ke.
Scene 2: A bunch of Jihads, A bunch of army men and a bunch of Pakistani commanders decide Kashmir hamara Hain and we will have Kashmir. Together they organize an attack.
Scene 3: A valiant Aditya Pancholi, trying to pass off as Sunny Deol manages barely to save Indian soil. People shoot not like soldiers but some kids who have been given diwali guns. Expectedly, militants have no brains or brawns and just succumb to Indian power. The Pakistanis are enraged. Aditya Pancholi remembers just then . my brother. Meanwhile he also holds a militant hostage.
Scene 4: Song again – Hum veer jawan is desh ke reprised – full with octopads and drums. The Brother and he now are breaking into a break dance over the song. Apparently beyond a point, the choreographer decided that soldiers cannot move their hands 10 degrees east or west . what follows is a dance of robotic expressions. Behind the dance is of course is our Bharat Maata.s statue. One look at it.and Pakistanis should be happy.We had difficulty whether it was a woman in the first place.
Scene 5: Cut to Pakistan. Commander in Chief.s daughter is about to be married to Mubaraq. DDLJ is fresh in her mind, so she asks her dad that she wants to visit India once before she marries. Dad agrees; next day she and her irritating granny are in India. Granny calls up the family of long lost friends of partition, a Hindu, the Darasingh.s family.
Scene 6: Just in time the family re gathers! Hero too now (Faisal Khan) has come home and has his brother too (Aditya Pancholi). A Jawan sister is also around. I was hoping she gets raped (according to Bollywood formulas) and hero does something.
Scene 7: Nargis and the Hero fall in love at first sight, first touch and first talk. Their love lacks any kind of romance or chemistry; Most of the times hero looks as he has been bitten by the cocks flying around the house.
Scene 8: Shaadi in the house! Whose shaadi? Of course the sister. Me grunts . she was to be raped.what is this?! Anways, shaadi is a good opportunity for more love between Nargis and the Hero (sorry folks remembering hero.s name is a Herculean task!). One of my friends remarked here that Faisal Khan actually has a black eye. Not one but two. Who beat him, ate him, no one knows; but in this makeup he proposes, she accepts.
Scene 9: Harsh realities of life . I am Indian, you are Pakistani. Didn.t they think before they fell in love? Of course how could they.they fell in love even before their mouths spoke to each other.
Scene 10: Militants have no other targets than this Indian family and his bunch of weirdos. The spot the Indian and the Pakistani discussion the vagaries of life on a river bed. The Indian runs to get a goat for the Pakistani. The militants capture Pakistani and hold her hostage and ask India to return the militant they captured if they wanted the Pakistani alive. Indian and India agrees! The Indian is the Hero and the Pakistani is you know who? So simple ain.t it? How often do you see Pakistani Militants holding a Pakistani hostage and making India agree to their terms?
Scene 11: Pakistani Nargis wants to go home! (why didn.t she ask her brethren who captured her.they could have done that. More still, why didn.t she tell that she was a Pakistani herself? She instead chooses to rant on Islam.). After much Rona Dhona and kasme vaade of true love, lovers depart.
Scene 12: Papa Pakistani is not amused. He fires the granny for taking them to the Hindu.s place. (Amuses me too. What did the Pakistani think? He had no idea where in India his daughter was going to live? More still.they don.t contact for months together?)
Scene 13: Beti Pakistani refuses to marry Mubaraq. Mama Pakistani explains the laws of life. Meanwhile, Sudesh Berry springs from nowhere to lead and train Jehadis. Pakis are happy.
Scene 14: A Paki mission goes hopelessly wrong . all for good reasons. How many times do u see a militant walking in broad daylight to kill an Indian and assumes that he won.t kill him back?
Scene 15: Sudesh Berry is enraged. He trains more Jehadis. But is caught by Indian army? How, when, why , where, don.t ask. He refuses who is at the top of the ladder of Kashmir terrorism. ( I wonder why ask him in the first place.everyone knows!)
Scene 16: Another Twist . Sudesh Berry.s twin brother is a hardcore Indian patriot. He takes his place in Pakistan to gather sensitive information. He is found wounded by Pakis. Pakis declare he has lost his Yaadash.
Scene 17: Miraculously enough, next scene his Yaadash his back. He sends sensitive information to India using militant.s phones. Gets killed immediately. (We wondered, what was his whole purpose in the movie??)
Scene 18: Did you forget the love story? No! The hero is preparing for a war with Pakis. Meanwhile, Papa Pakistani sends the whole Pakistani army to capture the Indian who captured the Beti Pakistani.s heart.
Scene 19: Shaadi Byah. At last Mubaraq (Akshay Khanna) comes along to marry Nargis. She tells him the truth. He is just out of HDDCS feeling . he agrees to take her across the border to her love. Love knows no boundaries . an enraged mubaraq declares and starts walking with his love to send her across.
Scene 20: Randomly Mubaraq kills people. He wants to send her you see. They walk for a while . voila . border is here!
Scene 21: However border is not near as it looks . there is a song . a wild dance in front of a tomb . and the whole Paki army and the whole Indian army in no man.s land.
Scene 22: Indians and Pakis fight. The two idiots are still walking.the border is close. Indians and Pakis kill each other without any planning or thought. Aditya Pancholi gets shot 15 times, stabbed 4 times.
Scene 23: Aditya is still fighting after 15 minutes. He kills the villain, utters another rant for 10 minutes and finally dies. Across the border, she crosses it, mubaraq doesn.t. Lovers run to catch each other in arms . however all they manage to run is a couple of meters.
Scene 24: Bade Pakistani shoots . mubaraq comes in between lovers . doesn.t die . pleads to papa to give up arms . he does . rants for another 2 minutes and falls. Before he can even mutter a few words, Papa Pakistani closes off his eyes.lest he speak more!
Scene 25: All is well that ends well. What were the hordes of Indians doing during fight- don.t ask. What were Pakistani soldiers doing in the end? Don.t ask. Is love worth deaths of 1000 people in the movie . don.t ask! What happened to the sister . to my utter misfortune, nothing much happened to her. What was the whole point of the movie . don.t ask.